Too Much Time

Inside of me, I didn’t want you,

but I wasn’t allowed to scream.

I cried alone in silence,

all the light was gone,

only darkness stayed with me.

I had no strength to say “no”,

I stayed quiet, swallowed fear.

You didn’t want to know the truth,

you let me suffer year by year.

While I was sleeping, you took it all,

even when I didn’t want it — you didn’t stop.

You stole my smile, you stole my voice,

now everything inside is lost.

Where am I now in all of this?

Am I fog, a wall, a broken door?

My hope is gone, I’m standing still —

I can’t do this anymore.

Too much time, too many tears,

running from truth, drowning in fears.

Same roof, but we’re not the same,

you’re losing me, I’m losing your name.

I call your name, you’re not there,

I stay silent, pretending I don’t care.

If love is war with no one saved,

tell me now — who lost everything?

You told me:

Why are you killing me with messages?

Why do you want me to feel the pain?

Why don’t you calm down and let it go?

I really can’t understand your way.

You keep touching the past,

you say it’s breaking us apart.

You’re the one who ruined everything,

you keep putting salt on every scar.

I know I made mistakes, I know,

but I don’t know how to carry this weight.

So I escape into games and noise,

pretending everything is okay.

While you’re crying alone at home,

I laugh, I hide, I play the role.

Maybe I’m hurting, maybe I’m not —

but I never let it show.

Too much time has been wasted.

I don’t know if I want peace,

but I know I can’t stay like this.

If love means disappearing —

this time, I choose me. Not us , me..just me...