🎵 “Where Are the Planeswalkers?”
By The Bard of the Cardboard Realm
(Verse 1)
I wandered through scroll-shops and smoky old taverns,
With a deck in my satchel and hope in my eyes.
I’ve traded for Black Lotuses, summoned the Ancients,
But finding a player? That’s the true prize.
(Pre-Chorus)
Booster packs open like chests full of gold,
Foils that shimmer with stories untold.
But in this vast kingdom of mana and might,
Why is no wizard in sight?
(Chorus)
🎶 Where are the planeswalkers, slinging their spells?
I’ve battled with dragons and liches in wells,
But finding a friend who knows phase and the stack,
Is rarer than pulling a mint Alpha Black.
Oh I’ve got my deck sleeved, my sideboard prepared,
But I’m dueling alone in my lair…
(Verse 2)
In the land of Eldraine I danced with a fae,
In Ravnica’s alleys I wandered astray.
I’ve planeswalked through Zendikar’s towering vines,
But can’t find a buddy to match me on lines.
(Bridge)
I cast Lightning Bolt just to light up the dark,
My goblins are bored, they’ve retreated to Tark.
Even my dragons have started to yawn,
“Another solo shuffle?” they sigh before dawn.
(Chorus)
🎶 Where are the planeswalkers, bold in their stance?
Who tap for the kill, not just for a glance?
I’ve summoned the gods, exiled the weak,
But all I want now is someone to speak.
So I wait at this table, with wizards and flame,
Hoping someone else knows the game…
(Outro – softly, wistfully)
So if you hear whispers of spells in the breeze,
Or a bard with a deck near the whispering trees,
Sit down, draw seven, and play for a while—
You might just make this wizard smile.