Verse 1
I quit sleeping through the night
Started counting cracks instead
Every hour felt like morning
Every sunrise felt a thousand pounds
I cried until my eyes were swollen
Learned concealer like a friend
Smiled at everyone at work...
Then fell apart again.
Pre-Chorus
Some days I won...
By getting out of bed.
Chorus
Trying not to lose you...
I lost myself instead.
One memory at a time...
Until I disappeared.
I had to rip myself away...
Even when I begged to stay.
You were never holding onto me...
I was holding onto you.
Verse 2
My alarm became a warning
That I'd have to face another day
I'd stand beside my bed for twenty minutes...
Trying to convince my feet to move.
I mailed one last goodbye letter...
"I'm excited for what's ahead."
I wished you everything you dreamed...
Even though I couldn't breathe.
Pre-Chorus
Healing wasn't finding someone new.
It was waking up...
And choosing not to run back to you.
Chorus
Trying not to lose you...
I lost myself instead.
One memory at a time...
Until I disappeared.
I had to rip myself away...
Piece by bleeding piece...
Each day.
You were never holding onto me...
I was holding onto you.
Verse 3
I brushed my teeth because I had to
Ate because somebody asked
Called that surviving...
'Cause living felt too hard to ask.
One day I laughed without thinking...
Then cried because I did.
I didn't know that healing...
Could feel like guilt instead.
Bridge
If letting go were easy...
I'd have done it years ago.
You didn't break me...
The day you left.
You broke me...
Every day...
I kept waiting.
I didn't lose my mind...
All at once.
I lost it...
One memory...
At a time.
Every picture.
Every song.
Every place we used to stand.
I dragged my own heart...
Screaming...
Across broken glass.
Every step felt like dying.
Every step...
Kept me alive.
(Everything stops.)
That's what I meant...
When I said...
"I went psychotic..."
"...when you loved her."
Final Chorus
Trying not to lose you...
I lost myself instead.
One memory at a time...
Until I found myself again.
I had to rip myself away...
Piece by piece...
Day by day.
You were never holding onto me...
I was holding onto you.
No...
Walking away wasn't the miracle.
The miracle...
Was finding the girl...
Who survived...
Letting you go.
(Softly)
I wrote...
"I'm excited for what's ahead."
...
Now...
I finally am.
thirdheart517
