Why am I still bleeding?

(Verse 1 faint vinyl crackle, muted guitar or piano chords)

Woke up screaming in a dream that wasn’t mine,

I stitched the wounds that bound me, but now I’m pulling out the twine

Said you loved me only when I cried

Now I ghost you like you ghosted every time

(Chorus Dirty base + trap hats + layered vocals (some pitched up, some deep and distorted)

Why am I still bleeding?

I let you go, but there is a fire I can’t stop feeding,

The smoke still fills my throat,

Choking saying I don’t want to you back / I just want control,

Broke me down, but I’m still made out of stone.

(Verse 2 raw, real and spiralling)

Fuck I tried to write it out but the pen just cracked,

Every line I spit feels like a panic attack

I laughed it off, said I’m better now,

But I still flinch when I hear that sound,

Burning your pictures, yeah I’m putting on a show,

I’m still scrolling deep when I’m feeling low

Friends say “healing” when I’m saying “how?”

I’m a glitch in a smile trying to figure it out

(Chorus)

Why am I still bleeding?

I let you go, but there is a fire I can’t stop feeding

The smoke still fills my throat,

Choking saying I don’t want you back / I just want control,

Broke me down / but I’m still make out of stone

(Bridge the break down moment)

I’m tired of crying in lowercase

Hiding bruises under glitter and bass

Said I’m healing, but I lied again

Staring at my phone like it’s oxygen

I’m not okay, but I’m dressed like art

Holding my breath just to fall apart

If I vanish now, would you even see?

Or would you rather dance on the ghost of me?

(Final Chorus out with a bang)

Why am I still bleeding?

When I already let you go

Built a wall where you were feeding

But your shadow still won’t go

I don’t want your sorry / I want control

I’m done with being soft / now I bite when I’m cold / you broke me once / but I made that pain gold / you lost the realest love you’ll ever hold

(Outro the final word)

I left the door open…

But only to let the smoke out.

Not for you.

I don’t miss you.

I miss who I was before you.

And maybe that’s the saddest part.

(Low echo: “saddest part…

Saddest part…”)