Lost to Fear

I’m scared, fearful for the future, it’s coming sooner, than later. Fear was the motto for 2025, you could see it when you looked me in the eye, I was anxious, self doubtful, angry, mentally in pain, I never wanna go through that again. A lot of regret, things I wish I did, the show goes on, who am I trying to kid? Nostalgia hitting hard, can’t believe time has been going fast, I wake up, go to work, try not to emotionally crash, I’m emotional, I feel everything, I wear my heart on my sleeve and try to protect it, no circling, no big ideas, no grand thoughts, no hope for me, all regrets, fill my head, laying in my bed, with nothing said, everything is quiet but my thoughts are screaming, got me in my feelings, staring at the ceiling.

Life, I just don’t get, one day I’m so happy the next the clouds are dark and the fear gets worse, I’m worried one day it’ll put me in a hearse. Not suicidal but the thoughts are there, on my mind when then should be outta my ear, I have so much but feel like I have nothing, do I push everyone and everything away or do I mean something? I guess nothing… I need help. I can’t do this myself. No drive, no dreams, help me, before I scream.

Who am I? A question that I don’t know, but I need some answers. Searching, all alone, Hope is gone, don’t be long, only fear, when you’re not here. We fought before and this time I’m giving up. He can be the champion today, he can drive the emotions, he can have me, until I have some devotion, until I have a purpose… I give up… had enough….