What hidden beneath

Powder and porcelain

Cracks you can’t see

I paint on a stranger

So you won’t see me

Laugh lines I never earned

Cheekbones carved from fear

I contour the corners

Where I disappear

When the makeup’s gone

And it’s just my shaking hands

I’m a sentimental man

Who never learned to stand

I wash my face

And watch myself run down the drain

All that’s left is me

And I hate him just the same

Closet full of faces

Shades that don’t fit

Every brush a blessing

Every mirror a hit

You call me “put together”

You don’t see the glue

Mascara hides the water

But it can’t dam the truth

When the makeup’s gone

And it’s just my shaking hands

I’m a sentimental man

Who never learned to stand

I wash my face

And watch myself run down the drain

All that’s left is me

And I hate him just the same

I wish I could meet him

The boy under my skin

Hold him for a second

Say “you’re allowed to win”

But every time I try to

I flinch from who I am

So I reach for that old mask

And start again

When the makeup’s gone

And it’s just my shaking hands

I’m a sentimental man

Who never learned to stand

I wash my face

Until the sink is streaked with shame

All that’s left is me

And I don’t know his name