So God Damn High

Yeah…

I think about you every fucking day (every day)

Yeah, I fucked it up…

I know, I know

I’m not what you need, just say it, I feel like I’m fighting on my own damn side

I already told you, I love you, stop bringing up how I’m so god damn high

Fuck it bother me, tell me that I’m crazy, no matter how high I get I’m still the same guy

Fuck it lie to me, tell me that you love me, all you got to do is god damn try

I left the door open, then I ran away

Now I stare at my phone like you might call today

I got all these memories I can’t erase

Your voice in my head, I can still hear you say

“Maybe we could fix it,” but I didn’t stay

I remember your room, I remember your face

I remember the nights that I threw away

Now every new person just feels like a fake

‘Cause I’m comparing their love to the love that I chased

I said I needed space, now I’m begging for yours

Funny how losing you made me want you more (fuck)

And I know I can’t undo it

I know I fucking blew it

Every night I run right through it

In my head, I still replay it

I’m not what you need, just say it, I feel like I’m fighting on my own damn side

I already told you, I love you, stop bringing up how I’m so god damn high

Fuck it bother me, tell me that I’m crazy, no matter how high I get I’m still the same guy

Fuck it lie to me, tell me that you love me, all you got to do is god damn try

I still check your page when I know I shouldn’t

Still read old texts like I wish that I couldn’t

Got your name in my head and your ghost in my room

I keep telling myself that I’m getting through

But I’m not, nah, I’m fucking stuck

I traded something real for a little bad luck

Now I miss every fight, every laugh, every kiss

Didn’t know what I had, now I’m sick over this

You were there when I couldn’t get out of my head

You stayed when I gave you a million reasons to leave instead

And I pushed you away just to see if you’d stay

Now I’d give anything just to hear you complain

I was so damn convinced I could do better alone

Now this empty-ass bed doesn’t feel like a home

If I could go back, I’d be begging myself

“Don’t let her walk out, don’t choose somebody else” (don’t fuck it up)

I’M STILL HERE! (still here!)

STILL THINKING ABOUT YOU! (every night!)

I SAID I’D BE FINE!

BUT I FUCKING LIED!

I LEFT YOU BEHIND!

NOW I’M LOSING MY MIND!

I’m not what you need, just say it, I feel like I’m fighting on my own damn side

I already told you, I love you, stop bringing up how I’m so god damn high

Fuck it bother me, tell me that I’m crazy, no matter how high I get I’m still the same guy

Fuck it lie to me, tell me that you love me, all you got to do is god damn try

Every fucking day… (every day)

I wonder if you think about me too

I regret leaving more than I could ever say

I just wish I knew what I had when I had you

Yeah…

I would’ve stayed.