Doc Holiday vs Robin Hood

Intro – Announcer / Crowd]

(Old saloon piano → arrow thunk → record scratch)

🎙️
“Ladies and gentlemen… outlaws and legends…
From the dust of Tombstone…
To the forests of Sherwood…”

⸻

[Verse 1 – Doc Holiday]

(Spoken-rap, cool, coughing confidence)

I’m your huckleberry, slick with the smoke and the stare
You rob from the rich? Cute. I rob life itself, I don’t care
Got tuberculosis but I’m still breathin’ on beats
While you cosplay Lincoln Green playin’ dress-up with thieves

Six-shooter etiquette, manners, and menace
You shoot arrows—I end arguments in seconds
Southern charm, silver tongue, coffin-ready wit
You live in a treehouse, I live where legends get lit

⸻

[Verse 2 – Robin Hood]

(Playful, fast, cocky)

Oi, Doc, you cough a lot for a guy who talks tough
I steal gold with a grin, you steal wins with a bluff
You duel drunk men at noon, I humiliate kings
One arrow splits coins, and your whole saloon flinches

You’re dying romantic, I’m hope in disguise
I feed the poor while you gamble their lives
You got style, I’ll admit, but let’s keep it real
You fight for yourself—I fight for a deal

⸻

[Hook – Crowd / Call & Response]

(Chant-style, easy repeat)

🎵
Outlaw! (Which one?)
BOTH!
Steel or string?
GUNS OR BOWS!
Step up, speak fast—
ZONA LET ‘EM GO!

⸻

[Verse 3 – Doc Holiday]

You’re a charity case with a Disney rewrite
I’m the reason your sheriff doesn’t sleep at night
I don’t miss—history confirms it
Your whole crew named “Merry” ‘cause the threat is uncertain

You aim for the apple, I aim for the heart
When the cards hit the table, I tear worlds apart
I die young, yeah—but immortal in flame
You fade into folklore, I redefine the game

⸻

[Verse 4 – Robin Hood]

Immortal? Please. You’re a quote on a wall
I’m a movement, a myth, and a tax revolt call
You rely on the gun ‘cause you fear gettin’ close
I beat tyrants with laughter and one perfect shot, bloke

You talk about legends? I build them from nothing
Turn peasants to heroes, make injustice start running
When the people decide, your saloon shuts down
No king, no tyrant—no Doc in this town

⸻

[Finale – Both Overlapping]

(Escalating, half-spoken)

DOC:
Say when.

ROBIN:
Say why.

DOC:
Say goodbye.

ROBIN:
Aim high.

BOTH:
History remembers the ones who don’t comply.

⸻

[Outro – Announcer]

(Gun cock → arrow release → crowd roar)

Comedy Rap Battle / Western vs Medieval

Mood: Swagger, trash talk, clever wordplay
Format: Back-and-forth verses + ligh