[00:00 – Intro – spoken softly, emotionally disconnected]
(slow piano begins, low ambient hum)
And I became everything I said I wouldn’t.
Now I hurt people the same way you hurt me.
And I think I do it… just to feel something.”
⸻
[00:25 – Verse 1 – monotone, spaced out, pause between thoughts]
“I sleep with women I don’t care about.
I leave before the sheets even cool off.
I don’t call them back.
I watch them cry, and I don’t even blink.
I tell them I’m not ready for love…
but the truth is I don’t believe in it anymore.
You left me when I needed you.
Now I don’t know how to need anyone.
I lie easily.
I cheat because guilt doesn’t live here.
I take pills to fall asleep.
I drink so I don’t dream.”
⸻
[01:15 – Pre-Hook – more emotion, but still restrained]
“They say I’m cold.
They say I’m empty.
But I remember that little boy,
crying into a pillow,
waiting for the door to open again.
You never came back.”
⸻
[01:40 – Hook – layered, slightly more intense delivery]
this is who I am now.
I don’t love, I use.
I don’t connect, I perform.
I don’t feel, I distract.
And when they ask me why I’m like this,
I think of you.”
⸻
[02:15 – Verse 2 – lower tone, steadier delivery, some grit in the voice]
“They think I’m in control.
But I’m still that abandoned kid,
wearing grown-up pain like cologne.
I tell women what they want to hear
because that’s easier than telling the truth.
I chase silence
because I don’t know how to handle peace.
I crave chaos
because it feels like home.
I hate myself after every high.
But I still reach for it.
Because feeling numb…
is better than feeling nothing.”
⸻
[03:05 – Bridge – softer again, introspective, voice drops lower]
“I stopped believing in forever
when you showed me it was a lie.
I never learned to stay.
Only how to leave first…
before anyone else could.”
⸻
[03:40 – Hook – repeated, layered with low vocal hum or reverb FX]
this is what you made.
I ruin good things.
I disappear when I’m needed.
I wear a mask I can’t take off.
And all of it…
started when you walked away.”
⸻
[04:15 – Outro – whisper or very low, raw]
“I don’t hate you.
But I hate what I became…
because you didn’t stay.”
(music fades slowly into silence)
Tuuka
