Florida Man Blues

(Verse 1)
Well the cops showed up at the Taco Bell,
Said he stole a gator from a wishing well.
Ridin’ shirtless on an airboat down I-95,
Tossin’ Slim Jims out the window just to feel alive.

(Chorus)
Florida man, Florida man,
Got arrested with a squirrel in his hand.
Said “it’s my lawyer, don’t you understand?”
Only in the sunshine state, Florida man.

(Verse 2)
He broke into Walmart just to wrestle a swan,
Painted himself gold, yelled “I’m James Bond!”
Tried sellin’ moonshine to a traffic cone,
Then married a mannequin to not be alone.

(Chorus)
Florida man, Florida man,
Caught fishin’ for crocs with a frying pan.
Screamin’ “free my iguana, he’s an innocent man!”
Only in the sunshine state, Florida man.

(Bridge)
He was tased in the snow at a Waffle House fight,
Claimed Elvis was alive and buyin’ his rights.
Police report says: “don’t even ask,”
He got arrested for wearin’ a gator mask.

(Final Chorus)
Florida man, Florida man,
Tried snortin’ hot sauce from a ketchup can.
He’s the legend, the myth, the whole damn brand,
Only in the sunshine state, Florida man.

Polka blues country