Florida Man Blues

(Verse 1)

Well the cops showed up at the Taco Bell,

Said he stole a gator from a wishing well.

Ridin’ shirtless on an airboat down I-95,

Tossin’ Slim Jims out the window just to feel alive.

(Chorus)

Florida man, Florida man,

Got arrested with a squirrel in his hand.

Said “it’s my lawyer, don’t you understand?”

Only in the sunshine state, Florida man.

(Verse 2)

He broke into Walmart just to wrestle a swan,

Painted himself gold, yelled “I’m James Bond!”

Tried sellin’ moonshine to a traffic cone,

Then married a mannequin to not be alone.

(Chorus)

Florida man, Florida man,

Caught fishin’ for crocs with a frying pan.

Screamin’ “free my iguana, he’s an innocent man!”

Only in the sunshine state, Florida man.

(Bridge)

He was tased in the snow at a Waffle House fight,

Claimed Elvis was alive and buyin’ his rights.

Police report says: “don’t even ask,”

He got arrested for wearin’ a gator mask.

(Final Chorus)

Florida man, Florida man,

Tried snortin’ hot sauce from a ketchup can.

He’s the legend, the myth, the whole damn brand,

Only in the sunshine state, Florida man.