Do you ever have days were you feel like just getting in your car and just leaving and never looking back. No clue where to go just as far away from the place that your in I find myself lately day dreaming about doing just that and wondering what my life would be like if I only had to worry about me. I wonder what it would be like to not have to stress out about six kids three of them know every thing and love to voice that daily not have to run here or run there oh I was late now they hate me . I can never do anything right nothings ever good enough it’s exhausting what about me or how I want to go on vacation but I can’t because there’s always something that stops me from getting to the coast. I just want to go there and put my feet in the sand and watch the ocean waves something about it is relaxing to me Sometimes I think I’m living the wrong life. I see single people out on a date flirting and holding hands they seem like they are so happy and so much in love I’ve forgotten what that’s like and quite frankly I don’t know that I really miss it much cause it all ends up the same happy one minute head over heals in love then you blink and you don’t know the person your married you no longer laugh or have fun you don’t go to bed together anymore most the time you don’t even speak there nothing left to say. Sometimes I think the life I’m living isn’t meant for me but the only person I have to blame is myself I chose this life and can’t take it back. It’s mine and I have to live with it that’s just the facts. But sometimes it’s nice to be able to just day dream about the life I would have had if it was only just me. What it would be like not to have deal with a ungrateful teenager’s attitude. I wish i could have had a crystal ball so I could have seen my life before I was born to see what my future was gonna be like or what parents i was going be born to so i could have a choice. If I would have seen what I’ve had to live through I would’ve chosen not to be born god wouldn’t that be nice to have the chance to choose and they say this country is the land of the free maybe if your rich money buys everything love life and liberty. I made my bed so I’ll lay in it but as for being happy or in love or rich that just aren’t in the cards for me my life is what it is and will never be nothing more.
