(Verse 1)
My mind is a forgiveness machine
Working overtime to scrub the crime scenes clean
I look behind me and I see a golden glow
Where there was only wreckage, I see a picture show
I have a habit of sanding down the wood
Taking the splintered parts and calling them "good"
I take the careless words you used to throw
And turn them into poetry before I let them go.
(Chorus)
So today, I have to be the one who stays
I have to love myself enough to look away
Because if I don't hold me close, I know what I’ll do
I’ll draft a better version of the truth
I’ll paint a halo on a silhouette of dark
I’ll miss the fire and forget the burn mark
I have to love myself first, and I have to be fast
Before my heart edits the danger out of the past.
(Verse 2)
It’s a survival instinct, I suppose
To smell the thorn and tell myself it’s a rose
I remember you taller, I remember you kind
I crop out the shadows you left in my mind
But the archives are lying, the footage is faked
I’m romanticizing every mistake
You were a drought, but I remember rain
I’m addicted to finding the beauty in pain.
(Chorus)
So today, I have to be the one who stays
I have to love myself enough to look away
Because if I don't hold me close, I know what I’ll do
I’ll draft a better version of the truth
I’ll paint a halo on a silhouette of dark
I’ll miss the fire and forget the burn mark
I have to love myself first, and I have to be fast
Before my heart edits the danger out of the past.
(Bridge)
Nostalgia is a liar in a velvet coat
It softens the hands that were around my throat
But reality is safer, though it’s cold on the skin
I won't open the door to let the ghosts back in
I’m firing the editor, I’m burning the script
I’m remembering the way that the narrative slipped.
(Chorus)
So today, I have to be the one who stays
I have to love myself enough to look away
Because if I don't hold me close, I know what I’ll do
I’ll draft a better version of the truth
I’ll paint a halo on a silhouette of dark
I’ll miss the fire and forget the burn mark
I have to love myself first, and I have to be fast
Before my heart edits the danger out of the past.
(Outro)
No more halos.
No more revisions. I'm
Just me, standing here.
Making the right decision.
I love me first today.
I keep the truth... and I stay.
"Sanding down the wood": Taking a rough, painful reality and smoothing it over in your memory so it doesn't hurt to touch anymore.
"The Editor": Your brain's tendency to cut out the bad scenes (the arguments, the disrespect) and keep only the highlight reel.
"Paint a halo on a silhouett
Philosophy11
