[Verse 1]
I thought loving you meant not holding you back
And you thought loving me meant begging me to stay
But somewhere between “I love you” and “please don’t go”
You turned my goodbye into something I had to pay
You made me feel guilty for needing to breathe
Made me feel selfish for wanting to leave
And I started questioning everything I knew
Wondering if saving myself meant hurting you
[Pre-Chorus]
And God, I wish you would’ve listened
When I said I wasn’t done
I wasn’t trying to erase us
I was trying to find someone
Some version of myself
That I had lost somewhere along the way
I didn’t need you to let me go forever
I just needed you to let me walk away
[Chorus]
I didn’t wanna leave you
I just needed to leave
I didn’t stop loving you
I just couldn’t keep being me
You thought a break meant goodbye
I thought it meant we’d get another try
But you held on so tightly
That you watched me disappear inside
And maybe that’s the part
I’ll never forgive you for
You loved me so much
You forgot what I was asking for
I wasn’t saying “I don’t love you”
I was saying “I can’t breathe”
I didn’t need you to stop loving me
I just needed you to let me leave
[Verse 2]
I wanted my own future
Even if you weren’t in it yet
Not because I stopped imagining you
But because I hadn’t found myself yet
And I loved you so fucking deeply
That’s what makes this hurt so bad
Because every step away from you
Felt like burying everything we had
We were too different
But I kept trying to make it fit
I kept breaking pieces of myself
Just to make room for us in it
And maybe if you’d listened
Maybe things could’ve been okay
But you couldn’t understand
That needing space wasn’t walking away
[Pre-Chorus]
I was confused
I was lost
I didn’t know what I needed
I just knew that staying
Was slowly killing something inside me
And I hate that I had to choose
Between hurting you and hurting me
Because either way I knew
Someone I loved was going to leave
[Chorus]
I didn’t wanna leave you
I just needed to leave
I didn’t stop loving you
I just couldn’t keep being me
You thought a break meant goodbye
I thought it meant we’d get another try
But you held on so tightly
That you watched me disappear inside
And maybe that’s the part
I’ll never forgive you for
You loved me so much
You forgot what I was asking for
I wasn’t saying “I don’t love you”
I was saying “I can’t breathe”
I didn’t need you to stop loving me
I just needed you to let me leave
[Bridge]
And now I’m alone
And I don’t know if I’m okay
I keep looking at my phone
Like you’re gonna call and say
“I finally understand
I’m sorry I didn’t hear you
You didn’t have to disappear
You didn’t have to fear me”
But the phone stays silent
And the room stays cold
And I’m left with all the memories
Of the future we never got to hold
And I still love you.
Fuck, I still love you.
That’s what hurts the most.
Because if I didn’t love you
This would be easy.
I could walk away
And never look back.
But I loved you enough
To stay when I was drowning.
And I finally had to love myself enough
To stop.
[Final Chorus]
I didn’t wanna leave you
God, I wish you knew
I wasn’t running from our love
I was running from what I was losing in you
I didn’t need forever
I just needed one night
One moment where you trusted me
When I said I wasn’t alright
But you wouldn’t let me go
So I had to let us die
And I’ll carry that forever
No matter how hard I try
Because you were someone I loved
You were someone I chose
And somehow the person I wanted beside me
Became the person I needed to let go
[Outro]
So now I’m alone.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
I just wish it didn’t hurt this much.
I hope one day you understand—
I never left because I stopped loving you.
I left because
I couldn’t find myself
while I was trying so hard
to keep us alive.
And I needed to breathe.
Even if breathing
meant breathing without you.