The Captain’s Con: A Pirate’s Tale
(Verse 1)
“Ahoy, me hearties!” the captain cried,
With a map in hand and a gleam in his eye.
“This parchment leads to treasures untold—
Mountains of jewels and rivers of gold!”
The captain was Trump, a pirate so sly,
With a ship called America sailing high.
His crew were cronies in suits and ties,
Plotting their schemes beneath bright skies.
(Verse 2)
“Dig deep!” they shouted to folks on the shore—
Farmers, workers, and dreamers galore.
“Yer fortune awaits! Just follow the plan!”
And so they toiled, shovels in hand.
But the map was a fake, a clever disguise,
A riddle of lies spun before their eyes.
Each X they struck led to barren ground,
While Trump and his crew stole all they found.
(Verse 3)
“Keep digging!” he barked from his gilded perch.
“If ye don’t find gold, it’s yer lack of search!
The treasure is there—ye just need belief!”
But he laughed to himself, the pirate-in-chief.
While they dug for dreams in the burning sand,
He raided the coffers of their homeland.
Tax breaks for his mates, riches for his kin—
The spoils of power hidden within.
(Verse 4)
“Where be the gold?” cried the weary crowd.
“We’ve dug for years; ye should be proud!”
But Trump just smirked from his ship afar:
“The treasure’s not here—it’s wherever I are.”
He blamed them all for digging too slow:
“Ye didn’t believe enough—that’s why ye’ve got woe!”
And as they argued over who was to blame,
He sailed off richer without any shame.
(Bridge)
His crew grew fat on power and greed,
While those on the shore were left in need.
Some saw through his game and shouted “Betrayal!”
But others defended him with every detail.
“He’s our captain! He’ll lead us true!”
They clung to his lies like sailors to glue.
Even as he robbed them blind, they’d say:
“The treasure’s still out there—we’ll find it someday.”
(Outro)
So here they dig in a land gone dry,
Under a blazing sun and an empty sky.
Their shovels strike nothing but dust and despair,
While Trump sails free without a care.
This be a tale of trust misplaced—
Of promises made but never embraced.
Beware false captains with maps in hand;
They’ll leave ye stranded on barren sand.
For while ye dig for treasure that’s fake,
They’ll rob ye blind and leave heartbreak in their wake.