Scorn

I feel the scorn of the past burden and pain.
I feel it drip down my body, like droplets of rain.
It burns. It hurts. It stings sharp like a ray.
I’m wondering: “Will I ever be okay?”
I’ve been burned, scolded, betrayed, and passed up.
Man, it’s hard for me to see full, but just a half empty cup. 
I’ve been doubtful of my own personal luck. 
Lately I just don’t give a fuck. 
Life sucks…it really hit me like a hockey puck. 
I’ve been doing nothing but slave away, just to make a simple buck. 

The scorn…it feels like a thorn, so sharp,
it tingles the way your fingers feel plucking a harp. 
Deep down inside, I feel like I’m boiling, it’s hot.
That pain flaming through me it stays there until it’s not. 
If only I realized that these are just thoughts.
But for some reason, my brain keeps programming…on and on like a robot.
I ponder if I will ever get caught, the noise so loud, they don’t know how hard I have fought. 

I feel the scorn, but now it is time to mourn,
for I have finally been delivered and reborn. 
In the past, I was confused with inner passion that has left me torn between,
two bodies, two truths, two lies. 
I even question to myself: “In which body will you choose and decide?
I feel it tensely like prying eyes, but I will make sure this scorn will never lead to my demise. 

I found the prize…mental clarity has arrived. 
I’m mesmerized, I’m flying high in the sky.
Trauma pushed aside…no more gloomy eyes.
I found the truth, and now happier days are to come, no more negativity for me to fall and succumb. 
I have overcome the scorn. 

jazz, r&b, trapsoul, swing, witch house, black female soul singer