I wake up in a body I don’t recognize
Pulses in my chest like a bad alibi
The room feels cold even when it’s warm
Like I died once already and lived through the wrong
I talk to the ceiling, it listens better
Than the people who swore they’d never sever
I learned how to smile like a defense
Learned silence makes more sense
I keep all the damage under my skin
So no one sees what state I’m in
I’m not alive, I’m just not dead
Just counting days I never said I wanted
Love was venom, slow and deep
Now everything I touch just bleeds
If this is life, it’s hollowed out
I’m screaming but there’s no sound
I’m not alive
I’m just not dead
I watched my heart rot in real time
Still stayed, still crossed every line
I begged for truth, got used instead
Now every memory fucks with my head
I sleep with ghosts, I eat regret
I drown in words I never said
I learned pain don’t always scream
Sometimes it just stays and breathes
I carry the weight like I deserve it
Like this is what I get for hoping
I’m not alive, I’m just not dead
Just a shadow where I once stood instead
Love cut deeper than any blade
Left me numb in a broken shape
If this is life, it missed the mark
I’m wide awake inside the dark
I’m not alive
I’m just not dead
Maybe I’m empty by design
Maybe nothing was ever mine
I tried to heal, I tried to stay
But the damage learned my name
Numb feels safer than the truth
Feeling hurts more than the proof
So I stay hollow, I stay still
Like losing myself was a skill
I’m not alive, I’m worn thin
Every breath feels borrowed, not lived in
I gave my soul to feel less alone
Now I don’t feel anything at all
If this is life, let it pass me by
I’ve already said my goodbyes inside
I’m not alive
I’m just not dead
I don’t need saving
I just need it to stop hurting.