I Am Who I Am (because of you)

**[Intro – lo-fi spoken, distant & muffled like answering machine]**

Yeah…

I know you hear me…

Even when you pretend you don’t…

(soft cassette deck click)

**[Verse 1]**

Late night drive, windows cracked, your voice still hangin' in the back

Tape deck spittin' Jodeci, but all I hear is you yellin' back at me

You broke the good parts, left the jagged ones

I duct-taped 'em up with bubblegum

Now every scar got your signature

Sharpie permanent, love & hurt mixed in the same signature

**[Pre-Chorus]**

I coulda changed the station, coulda burned the tape

Coulda told myself a thousand times it wasn't fate

But every time I tried to rewrite the end

Your ghost just hits record again

**[Chorus – big 90s R&B belts + sudden crunchy power chord stabs]**

I am, who I am

Because of youuuuuu

(yeah yeah)

Broken speaker heart still bangin' in the booth

I am, who I am

Because of youuuuuu

Love me or hate me, the damage got my truth

(whoa-oh-oh-oh)

You made the mess, now I’m the monument

To everything you ever did and never meant

**[Verse 2 – lo-fi half-sung, half-rapped, tape warble]**

Spray paint your name on the inside of my ribs

Every time my pulse jump, I still feel the nib

You were the riff that never resolved

The argument I lost but never dissolved

I wear your fingerprints like cheap jewelry

Faded gold-tone, still looks good on me

**[Pre-Chorus 2]**

I coulda been softer, coulda been clean

Coulda been the boy you saw in your dream

But you took the soft parts, left me barbed wire skin

Now I’m comfortable bleeding again

**[Chorus – even bigger this time, layered ad-libs]**

I am, who I am

Because of youuuuuu

(yeah girl, you know it’s true)

Distortion on my soul, still singin' in tune

I am, who I am

Because of youuuuuu

(whoa-oh-oh)

Love me or curse me, the credits roll with you

You made the mess, now I’m the monument

To everything you ever did and never meant

**[Bridge – strip it down to just tape hiss, soft keys, distant distorted guitar feedback]**

Funny thing is…

I don’t even hate you anymore

I just look at the wreckage

And finally recognize the shore

(soft)

You didn’t make me better

You didn’t make me worse

You just made me…

…this version…

…first

**[Final Chorus – full band crashes back in, punk-pop energy, R&B runs]**

I am, who I am (who I am)

Because of youuuuuu

I am, who I am (say it loud)

Because of youuuuuu

Yeah the scars talk back when the lights go dim

But they still spell your name when I sing 'em

**[Outro – lo-fi fade, voice getting further away]**

So thanks, I guess…

For the permanent marker

And the broken speakers

And the song that won’t end

(soft click… tape stops… silence… then faint rewind noise)

*fade into crackling static*