The mood Check Check I just need a sec I don't need a car or a ride I got My Nimbus 2000 parked outside Is it Carbon fiber. Nah this wood is prime 0 to hogwarts in half the time It's going so fast it should be a Crime My mood is not as sour as a lime. Got that magic-OG Dont you see Wizard-grade green One puff Now I'm talking parseltongue clean Fluffy says woof Eyes low, cloak on, vibe unseen floating through the Castle like a smoke machine Alohomora open doors with a flick No key no stress locksmiths get sick I’m ridin’ that broom like a boss in the sky, Clouds part ways when the chosen fly by. Voldy look up like, “Oh my—” Avada Kedavra? Missed. Nice try. Wingardium levio-flow, never low, Got that wizard gas, let it levitate slow. Dumbledore nod like, “That boy got glow,” Snape mad ‘cause my potion game stole the show. Dark Mark glowing up in the sky, I thought it was fireworks, can’t even lie. They chant for an hour to summon the dark, I light a candle and set off the fire alarm spark. Big villain speech, “Feel terror and pain!” I yawn mid-speech like I’m on a train. They float in the air all spooky and tragic, I float too—but it’s the wrong magic I stroll through Hogwarts like own the lease, Ghosts ask me politely, “Sir, may we rest in peace?” I'm not missing a piece Portraits stop talking when I walk by slow Even Dumbledore’s beard is like, “Bro… chill bro Even voldy know Expelliarmus? Nah, I Expelli-ALARM us, The bell rings loud when my dark arts charm us. Snape tried teaching me how to brew a potion, I said “add protein” — now it’s gains in motion. My Patronus? A dragon doing curls, Spitting fire reps while it scares the wizard girls. Voldemort saw me and adjusted his plan, Said “I don’t want to smoke with that magical man.” I don’t say spells, I say “bro watch this,” BOOM — turn a Death Eater into a side dish. Dementors pull up tryna steal my joy, I hit ‘em with a smile like, “Nice try, boy.” Got dark magic flowing through my veins, But I use it for vibes, for laughs, for gains. Hufflepuff cheering, Ravenclaw stunned, Gryffindor whispering, “Yeah… he kinda won.” They call me The Wizard With Unholy Rizz, Got witches confused like “what spell is this?” Not evil, just funny, absurdly strong, Dark lord energy but the jokes hit long. So if you hear thunder and gym plates clank, That’s me in the dungeon, doing reps with a tank. Harry got the scar, I got the drip so hard,

Hogwarts life