Order in the court, let the silence make a statement,
every scar in this body came to testify with patience.
They said, “State your name,” I said, “Depends who’s askin’,
the boy before the blood, or the man built from the damage?”
Prosecutor stood up in a suit made of my failures,
held my old dreams high like exhibits for the jurors.
He said, “You killed your softness for applause and for survival,
turned your heart into a weapon, called the ruins your revival.”
He said, “Remember mama cryin’, sayin’ ‘son, don’t lose your light,’
remember friends you swore forever, now they strangers overnight?
Remember love that reached to hold you, but your pride became a wall?
You were so afraid of drowning that you never learned to fall.”
I stood up for defense with a voice made out of thunder,
said, “You speak like life was mercy, like the world don’t pull you under.
Where were angels when the rent was due, the fridge was lookin’ skeletal?
I learned young that being gentle in this city could be fatal.”
Yeah, I buried pieces of me, but they buried me first,
every lesson came expensive, every blessing had a curse.
I was hungry, I was desperate, I was chasin’ any door,
and you judge me from a balcony that never touched the floor.
He laughed and said, “Convenient, every sin becomes a sermon,
every lie becomes protection, every cold night makes you certain.
Tell the court about the nights you let your ego choose the ending,
how you broke the ones who loved you just to keep from ever bending.”
Damn—
now the room got heavy, even pride was lookin’ nervous,
cause the truth don’t need a weapon, it just stands there and it hurts us.
Yeah, I pushed away the hands that tried to save me from myself,
cause admitting I was broken felt like failure worse than hell.
So who’s guilty? The survivor or the child he had to bury?
The man who built a kingdom, or the ghost he had to carry?
If pain made me a monster, does that monster get forgiven,
or we all just sum of choices and the graves that we were given?
Judge sat quiet. No gavel. No mercy. No expression.
Just my reflection in the wood, askin’ questions after questions.
I looked around for God, but even Heaven stayed ambiguous…
then I realized both sides of the courtroom
had been me the whole damn time.
And the judge wore my face—
and still refused to speak.
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