I can’t relax
My fists still clenched
Can’t undo what it does
So I do what it did
I go with the flow
Where else would I go?
When she tell me to wait
But I wanna move close
When the ball never drops
But somehow the game’s over
When the problem sits there
And the line gets crossed over
When the guards get lowered
But the other shoe don’t drop
Tell me where do we go
When the map finds the wrong spot?
Things we were taught
Versus logic we know
Things that we feel
Versus what’s safe to show
Unlearn what taught us
Unshrink the small us
Undo the mind fuck
Undo what it made of us
Undo the undid
Do what it undoes
Go back to the old me?
Nah, this the new us
New and improved
Not a washed-up version
Built from the damage
The doubt and the burden
Waves keep crashing
Life jacket I never had
Swallow the blame
Sink under the water instead
Sink to the surface
Jump to rock bottom
Push off with force
Like pain is a problem
Calm and collected
At least that’s what they see
Chaos underneath
Where nobody can reach
Captain Jack Sparrow
No compass to steer
Hero one minute
Villain the next year
Faults I admitted
The tests I keep teasing
Best ones get led on
It snows every season
Rhymes I believe in
They code us as crazy
What broke us did break us
Look what emotion created
Thoughts don’t escape
They just circle and hide
Run it back, run it up
Watch the years pass by
Whose fault is it
When backwards is up?
Do I deny it
Or call it bad luck?
Do I just die
Or live a long life?
And is surviving the same thing
As actually living it right?
I don’t know what I’m doing
Why truth ain’t proving
She do what she does
I do what it did
She want what it was
I want what it is
Pardon my English
My thoughts get aggressive
Forgot how to forget it
Remembered the message
Forever said never
Then never switched sides
Stars hit the pavement
While people still fly
Nobody sees it
But everybody got sight
Everybody says “live”
Till you don’t live it right
So do I go with the flow
Or become the whole ocean?
Do I swallow the words
Or drown in emotion?
Do I wait at the line
While the finish keeps moving?
Do I prove that I’m healed
Or just prove that I’m human?
I don’t know what I’m doing
I just know I ain’t done
I been fighting my shadow
While it swallowed the sun
Hit rock bottom
Then broke through the floor
Found another me waiting
Said, “You been here before”
I said, “Yeah, but this time
I ain’t begging for doors
I ain’t asking permission
I ain’t crawling no more”
Now the waves keep on coming
Let them crash, let them roll
I was screaming for rescue
Till I learned I could float
No map, no direction
No calm, no control
Just a fist full of damage
And a mouth full of smoke
She want what it was
I want what it becomes
So if love is a war
Tell the fear that it lost
I spent my whole life
Getting dragged by the current
Now I stand in the flood
Like I’m daring it to run
I don’t go with the flow
I don’t follow where it goes
I put my hands in the water
And decide where it flows
LyssDymension
