Past Thirty (Still Here)

Verse 1

Nineteen with a duffel, a name on a line

Left home with a promise I could not define

Germany winters, cold steel and gray

Italy mornings where the church bells would play

Spain gave me nights I barely recall

Panama heat where the shadows got tall

Stateside I stood like a man returned whole

But I left half my life on the edges of my soul

Pre-Chorus

I learned how to speak without saying a word

How to carry the weight without being heard

Chorus

I never thought I’d make it past thirty years

Lived like every sunrise might disappear

Now I sit on this porch with a glass of brown

Three gold dogs at my feet, sun going down

I keep it steady, keep my voice low

There’s things inside me they’ll never know

Verse 2

I tried to build a life in the quiet of home

But I never could leave what I carried alone

Two rings, two vows, both slipped through my hands

Love needs a man who can still understand

I don’t blame the leaving, I don’t blame the pain

War don’t stay there, it follows you home again

Pre-Chorus

I wore a calm face, kept my tone light

But there’s a war that don’t end when you leave the fight

Chorus

I never thought I’d make it past thirty years

Every plan I had just disappeared

Then he came along and changed my line

Gave me a reason to outlive my time

Now I sit on this porch with a glass of brown

Three gold dogs at my feet, sun going down

I smile when I can, keep the rest inside

A quiet man with a war I still hide

Bridge

My son stands firm, he walks it straight

A man of truth who don’t bend to hate

He’s got the strength I had to learn

The kind you earn when the bridges burn

I see in him what I tried to be

And that’s enough to carry me

Verse 3

Germany, Italy, Spain, Panama

Stateside years never felt that far

Every place took something I gave

Every road led back to the same old weight

Now I walk slow, let the morning in

Try to make peace with where I’ve been

Final Chorus

I never thought I’d make it past thirty years

Now every day feels borrowed here

I take it slow, let the whiskey burn

Let the past speak soft, let the pages turn

And I sit on this porch with a fading light

Three gold dogs keeping watch tonight

I lost some things I won’t get back

But I raised a man who walks the right path

Outro

Yeah, I made it past thirty

Paid more than I planned

But I look at my son

And I know where I stand