ALONE

(soothing, low and haunting)

Ash on my tongue, ghost in my throat

I hum to the static so I don’t lose hope

Midnight cathedral inside my bones

Every echo whispers, “You’ll die alone”

Rain on the window, blood on the moon

Heart like a lock in an empty room

You reach through the silence, I turn to stone

I’m sorry that I’m wired just to die alone

You touch the scars beneath my sleeves

Every fingerprint a war I never leave

I choke on the words I never show

Build iron walls from every “no”

You hold a match to my abyss

Try to turn a coffin into bliss

But my veins remember every ghost

Every promise that cut me close

I feel you breathing by my side

I hear you knocking from outside

I’m nailed inside my rusted throne

King of nothing, crowned to die alone

I’ve stitched my doubts into my skin

A barbed-wire prayer I sleep within

You try to pull it thread by thread

But it only screams inside my head

I’m sorry I’m so obsessed

With the idea I’ll die, die alone

Like a tomb carved in my chest

Like a prophecy etched in bone

I’m sorry I get so in my head

It’s hard to let you close

Like I’m dragging chains of lead

Around the one I need the most

I’m sorry I’m so obsessed

With the ending I can’t postpone

I poison every breath

Believing I must die alone

You lay your light across my fears

A fragile bridge of shattered years

But every step, the floor gives way

Into the pits where my demons pray

I see our future in your eyes

Then hear the cracking of the ice

I’d rather burn than let you drown

So I torch the map and tear it down

I turn your kindness into knives

Carve distance into both our lives

Your open arms, my closing fist

Every embrace another risk

I’d rather haunt these halls of pain

Than watch you wither in my rain

I walk the gallows on my own

And call it fate to die alone

There’s a choir in my skull

Singing dirges soft and dull

You try to drown them with your name

But I’m addicted to the shame

I’m sorry I’m so obsessed

With the idea I’ll die, die alone

Like a curse nailed to my breast

Like scripture burned into my soul

I’m sorry I get so in my head

It’s hard to let you close

Like a ghost beneath the bed

I haunt the love I need the most

I’m sorry I’m so possessed

By the fear of the unknown

I sabotage each breath

Convinced I have to die alone

(soothing begins, then grows violent)

Whisper my name through the thunder

Pull me from the undertow

My faith is just a ruin

Where I kneel before the “no”

I wear abandonment like armor

Rust and razor over bone

Every heartbeat is a hammer

Building you a different home

But you keep standing in the doorway

While I’m bricking it with stone

You keep singing, “We’re not over”

To a heart that only knows

(guttural, intense)

I AM THE PRISON AND THE CELL

A LIVING, BREATHING PRIVATE HELL

I SLIT MY FUTURE THROAT TO BLEED

SO YOU ARE FREE—SO I STILL BLEED

(soothing, fading into darkness)