Dancing Like a King

Showed up in my discount crown

Cardboard jewels

Twenty dollars down

DJ thinks I'm here to sing

I just mumble

“Play something I can wing…”

My cape? It's a shower curtain

Held on with a chip clip

Barely workin'

People part like I'm the real thing

Till they see my socks say “Burger King”

I’m dancin’ like a king (like a king, like a king)

On a sticky floor

Doin’ royal things (so regal)

Left shoe squeaks

Right hip goes “ping”

But I will not abdicate this swing

Yeah

I’m dancin’ like a king (oh!)

On a budget throne of plastic rings

If I pull a muscle

Let the trumpets sing

‘Cause I’m dancin’

I’m dancin’ like a king

I knighted the bartender with my fry

He rolled his eyes but he still played along

Nice guy

Tried a spin

Did a slip

Did a split

Now the crowd’s like “Whoa… did he mean to do it?”

Phone cameras up

They’re all recording

I’m trending under “Middle Age Crowning”

Sweat drips down

Cape stuck to my chin

Still I raise my cup and shout again

I’m dancin’ like a king (like a king, like a king)

On a sticky floor

Doin’ royal things (majestic-ish)

Left shoe squeaks

Right hip goes “ping”

But I will not abdicate this swing

Yeah

I’m dancin’ like a king (hey!)

My court is drunk and off-key as they sing

If I lose my balance

Someone grab my ring

‘Cause I’m dancin’

I’m dancin’ like a king

Security walks up

Says

“Sir

Are you okay?”

I say

“Peasant

Stand back

This is how I slay” (oh yeah)

DJ drops the beat

Crowd starts to chant

“Go

Weird king

Go

Weird king

” louder than the band

I’m dancin’ like a king (like a king, like a king)

On a sticky floor

Doin’ royal things (so royal)

Left shoe squeaks

Right hip goes “ping”

But I will not abdicate this swing

Yeah

I’m dancin’ like a king

If I hit the ground

Let the whole room sing

They’ll wheel me out

Still wavin’ my bling

(Still dancin’…)

I’ll be dancin’

Disastrously dancin’ like a king