A Ballad of Zero Respect

In the piss-soaked gutters of Elpis where your backbone would cave

I was laughing through starvation while you begged to be saved

You soft-handed little nobles with your silk-wrapped lies

I’ve seen tougher rotten corpses with more fight in their eyes

You strut around like peacocks, all feathers, no bite

I’ve taken shits with more resolve than your best in a fight

Every coin I earned was pried from egos thick as your skull

Which explains why you’re broke—there’s just fuck all to pull

Oh sing of the Rude Bard, watch your dignity get wrecked

He’ll call you what you are and leave your whole bloodline checked

Toss your pride before him, it’s as weak as your wits

For kings and gods and idiots—he’ll roast you to shit

I walked through cursed Eternis while you cried in your beds

Your “great minds” couldn’t handle half the shit in my head

You scholars write like wankers trying hard to sound deep

I speak once and your whole worldview collapses in a heap

Now I’m smoking cheap cigars while I ruin your name

One line and your ancestors feel a secondhand shame

You call yourselves enlightened—what a sad fucking joke

You’re just cowards with a library and a fragile ego to stroke

Oh sing of the Rude Bard, watch your dignity get wrecked

He’ll call you what you are and leave your whole bloodline checked

Toss your pride before him, it’s as weak as your wits

For kings and gods and idiots—he’ll roast you to shit

Pour another drink, you bastards, I ain’t nearly drunk enough

To deal with all your faces and your bargain-bin bluff

My lute’s got more soul than your entire family tree

And I tuned it half-conscious while it pissed back at me

I’ve smoked cigars more useful than your so-called divine right

And I’ve pissed in holy chalices that put your gods to shame outright

So cry, whine, scream—throw your pathetic little fit—

I know you think I’m a Lymey git

But I couldn’t give a shit

Now I wander through your kingdoms like a curse with a grin

Every word I drop’s a dagger buried deep in your skin

You dragons hoard your gold like it fixes your face

But no treasure on this earth saves that personality disgrace

With a bottle in my hand and a laugh full of spite

I could end your whole religion in a single drunken night

You built your worth on nothing—so I tear it apart

Turns out even your shadows don’t want any part