The whispers

The whispers in my head scream as loud as the ones in my heart…

I can’t be honest with myself…

why ask for honesty to you?..

I toss and turn, lying awake…

These vivid nightmares haunt my dreams… what is it I’m too afraid of?…

why can’t I find peace?…

These emotions tear through my skin like a knife, longing to get out…

what does this mean…

why won’t you let me shut this out…

A voice says to me one night; you can’t be free to love only me till you are honest with me, so we can’t shut them out…

The voice is sweet and relaxing, talkin’ to me softly…

I reply back, but I just want you, yet you seem so far to me…

I’m longing for you to love me just as I need to love you…

they get in the way…

I am scared to let them down..

I don’t want to hurt anyone… the voices scream out; you have to let go!! You’re hurting yourself so bad!!! Make a choice now!!! Who’s it gonna be me or them… the tears begin to roll down my cheeks… I’m afraid ok!! I’m scared to hurt others the way they hurt me!!! Then the voice says; you can’t go on like this you are killing us … plz choose you over them… everyday is filled with darkness… I’m scared to be on my own ok… I..I don’t know how to be free anymore I’ve been trapped just locked up and they’ve thrown away the key… the voice begins to feel like a warm hug all around… but that’s just it you’re not alone… you’ve never been alone, I’ve always loved you plz just choose me… pick yourself up now and reach out and grab me… I am you and you are me… so love me as I love me… you get it… just then I am awakened….