Suffocating

Every time your name pops up,

my whole chest tightens. (mm…)

I can’t breathe —

I swear it feels like the air gets sucked out. (yeah…)

All the shit you put me through

just hits me in the face again,

like a movie I never wanted to replay. (not again…)

I don’t want your “hi,”

I don’t want your check-ins,

I don’t want your ghost

haunting my phone.

Just stop.

Just stop. (please…)

You don’t get how heavy this is for me.

You just type like none of it mattered. (none of it…)

But I feel it —

I feel all of it —

every time you press send. (every time…)

I’m suffocating — I can’t breathe. (can’t breathe…)

You text me and the past

crashes right back into me.

I wanna scream, (wanna scream…)

I wanna run,

I wanna disappear just to get away from it. (mmh… disappear…)

You’re dragging me down

and you don’t even see it.

Just leave me alone —

please. (please… just stop…)

I’m tired. (so tired…)

I’m so tired.

It’s like you’re trying to see

how close you can push me

back to that girl you broke. (not her… not anymore…)

And I’m not her anymore —

but damn, you make it hard

to forget.

I deserve quiet.

I deserve space.

I deserve a life

where my phone doesn’t feel like a threat. (yeah… I do…)

Why can’t you just let me go?

Why can’t you stay gone? (stay gone…)

I’m finally healing

and every message

feels like a hand around my throat. (I can’t…)

I’m suffocating — I can’t breathe. (breathe… breathe…)

You text me and the past

crashes right back into me.

I wanna scream, (oh…)

I wanna run,

I wanna disappear just to get away from it.

You’re dragging me down,

and you don’t even see it.

Just leave me alone —

please. (leave me…)

I’m done pretending it’s fine.

It’s not fine. (no…)

You hurt me —

and you keep reopening it

every time your name lights up.

I don’t owe you replies.

I don’t owe you warmth.

I don’t owe you anything. (nothing…)

I’m suffocating — I can’t breathe.

You don’t get what it does to me.

I wanna scream, (yeah…)

I wanna just vanish,

just so you can’t reach me anymore. (far away…)

Stop dragging me back into who I was.

Stop pulling me under.

Just leave me alone —

I’m trying to breathe. (let me breathe…)