(Verse 1)
Martian Claus is comin' to town
He's got a list and a hell of a frown
He's checkin' it twice to see who is broke
If you're on that list, this ain't no joke
He'll park his sleigh on your crummy front lawn
Then tell your dog to find your kids and get 'em gone
He's not here for cookies, no milk for this man
Just a quick, nasty tour of his holiday plan
(Chorus)
Christmas with Martian Claus, it's a terrible sight
He's bringin' the coal, but not a single bright light
He'll whip all the kids who don't have enough cash
And he'll egg on their parents to be just as rash
He's got a big sack full of nothin' to give
'Cause he hates all the children who have nowhere to live
He's ho-ho-hoin' but the joke's on you
Martian Claus is comin' through!
(Verse 2)
He sneaks down the chimney, a sneer on his face
He's not leavin' presents all over the place
He's looking for stockings that are empty and torn
Just to prove that his cynical theory's been born
He'll open your fridge and grab a spoiled-up ham
Then tell you that you're nothing but a pathetic scam
He's got a laser whip, just for good measure
To make sure you all know you ain't a national treasure
(Chorus)
Christmas with Martian Claus, it's a terrible sight
He's bringin' the coal, but not a single bright light
He'll whip all the kids who don't have enough cash
And he'll egg on their parents to be just as rash
He's got a big sack full of nothin' to give
'Cause he hates all the children who have nowhere to live
He's ho-ho-hoin' but the joke's on you
Martian Claus is comin' through!
(Bridge)
He's not jolly, he's not fat
He's a sour old weirdo in a red felt hat
He'll shout at your family, "You've got no holiday cheer!"
As he smacks down his whip and vanishes in a flash of green fear
He's a two-in-one special, a holiday nightmare
Whipping the kids and showin' he just doesn't care
Christmas with Martian Claus, it's a terrible sight
He's bringin' the coal, but not a single bright light
He'll whip all the kids who don't have enough cash
And he'll egg on their parents to be just as rash
He's got a big sack full of nothin' to give
'Cause he hates all the children who have nowhere to live
He's ho-ho-hoin' but the joke's on you
Martian Claus is comin' through!He's Martian Claus... and you're all on his bad list!