TRACK 7 – HIGH WHEN IT HURTS

Every time life cut too deep to speak,

I chased numbness for a couple more weeks.

Didn’t wanna feel, didn’t wanna explain,

So I let the high drown out my brain.

I got high when it hurt, when the pressure too strong,

When the days felt jagged and the nights too long.

When the phone rang late and I knew bad news,

When life gave choices I didn’t wanna choose.

I got lit just to mute that sound,

That pounding heart and that merry-go-round.

Call it coping, call it weak, call it dumb,

But it kept my soul from goin’ fully numb.

Till one day I saw in the mirror real clear,

The same dead stare that I used to fear.

I saw the ghost of every friend I’d lost,

Staring at me like “You know the cost.”

Yeah I got high when it hurts, that was my way,

But that same damn path almost took me away.

Now I stand in the pain with my eyes unclosed,

Feelin’ every cut but I still stay composed.

Now when it hurts, I let it burn slow,

Let the ache in my chest be a signal to grow.

Still see the bottle when the world gets tight,

Still hear the call of that endless night.

But I choose clear lungs, heavy thoughts, no veil,

I choose the long fight, not the short-term bail.

Every time I resist, I reclaim my name,

Piece by piece, I step out of that flame.

I ain’t perfect, some days I slip in my head,

But I don’t slip my body back toward the dead.

I live with the noise that I used to drown,

Now I wear it like a half-bent crown.

Pain ain't proof that I’m weak or cursed,

It’s proof that I lived through the absolute worst.

If I can feel this and still not fold,

Then my heart more diamond than what I was told.

Yeah I got high when it hurts, that was my way,

But that same damn path almost took me away.

Now I stand in the pain with my eyes unclosed,

Feelin’ every cut but I still stay composed.

Hurt don’t own me, it just sharpens my sight,

I survived my crutches, now I walk in the light.

Master Jester — I lived that curse,

Now I’m stronger than the high I used to nurse.