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Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Eight years old
Counting tiles on the bathroom floor
Putting every bottle
Back where it was before
Dad's voice sharp
Like a doorframe to the head
Learned to say "I'm fine"
With my teeth instead
[Pre-Chorus]
I trace the numbers on my wrist
Like a timeline carved in skin
Every birthday candle lit
Feels like someone else moved in
[Chorus]
It gets worse with every number
Every year a heavier name
Thirteen
Seventeen
Twenty
They all taste the same
Abuse in the rearview
Addiction in the frame
I am counting all the ages
And I only count the shame
I need help
I need help
But the words just never leave my mouth again
[Verse 2]
Sixteen hiding
In a locked-up bedroom mess
Lining all the pens
Straight across the desk
Swallowing the silence
With a stranger’s little pills
Telling every mirror
"you are fine
Sit still"
[Pre-Chorus]
Doctor writes a different script
But the story stays the same
Same black pit beneath the bed
Just a different name
[Chorus]
It gets worse with every number
Every year a heavier name
Nineteen
Twenty-three
Thirty
Blur into the same
Abuse in the rearview
Addiction in the frame
I am counting all the ages
And I only count the shame
I need help
I need help
But the words just never leave my mouth again
[Bridge]
How do you say
"I’m broken"
When you’re scared they’ll
Believe you?
How do you reach
For a hand
When the touch might
Undo you?
I rehearse it
In my head
Til the sentences decay
Then I smile
Change the subject
Throw the counting chart away
[Chorus]
It gets worse with every number
Every birthday burns my throat
Pile of empty orange bottles
Like a crooked little moat
Abuse in the rearview
Addiction in the frame
I am standing in the wreckage
And I only know my shame
I need help
I need help
But the sound dies halfway up my throat
I need help
I need help
So I write it in this song
And hope you know
Details
GeneratedMar 15, 2026
Duration4:12
LanguageEnglish
Style
Sparse piano ballad opening to raw female vocals, close and confessional. First verse almost a whisper, slight room reverb; pre-chorus adds soft pads and distant vocal doubles. Chorus swells with warm bass, subtle drums, and layered harmonies. Final section strips back to piano and a single fragile lead, ending on a held note that fades into silence., female vocals
Credits
Prompt by
Rin
RinModelAria v5
Prompt
female voice. about the ages she goes through and how bad they got as the numbers of her age got higher. Abuse, addiction, OCD, medication. had enough. reflecting an ashamed. needs helps cant ask for
