Gray jerky

Verse 1

Three A.M., porch light flickerin’ green

Trash can’s hummin’ like a busted tambourine

Little dude landed wearin’ Crocs and a cape

Asked me for directions, then stole my grape Gatorade

Pre-Chorus

He spoke in beeps, burps, and bad advice

Smelled like sulfur and gas-station rice

Said, “Take me to your leader, or at least your grill”

Then puked stardust on my daffodils

Chorus

Aliens in my driveway, yellin’ “WHAT THE HELL?”

Moon dust in their pockets, Taco Bell smells

Doesn’t make sense, doesn’t gotta rhyme

They’re here for your cows and a really bad time

Verse 2

One had six eyes, one had none

One kept screamin’ “WHO TOOK MY SON?”

(turns out it was a rock with a face drawn on)

They argued for hours, then formed a band

Pre-Chorus 2

Drummer had tentacles, played too loud

Singer just screamed at a traffic cloud

Bass player vanished, said “I’ll be right back”

Got lost in a wormhole behind a Cracker Jack

Chorus

Aliens in my driveway, knockin’ over chairs

Arguin’ with pigeons, swearin’ at air

Weird as a nightmare fueled by cheap wine

They’re here for your cows and absolutely no reason why

Bridge (spoken, unhinged)

“DO YOU HAVE WIFI?”

“No.”

“DO YOU HAVE BEEF JERKY?”

“…maybe.”

“THEN WE STAY.”

Final Chorus

Aliens in my driveway, rent overdue

Stole my socks and my shampoo too

World’s end pending, but they missed the sign

Now they’re microwavin’ forks and callin’ it science

Outro

Ship took off, lawn’s still fried

One left a note that just said “MY BAD”

If they come back, I won’t even yell—

I’ll just lock the door and blame Taco Bell 👽