Verse 1
Came sliding out the methane womb
Neptune spit ’em out like bad perfume
Blue-skinned freaks with ankles wrong
Feet like lasagna, too damn long
They don’t walk, they flop and smear
Leaving wet regret everywhere
[RANDOM GUITAR SOLO — TOO LOUD, TOO LONG]
WEE-DEE-WEE-WAAAHHHH—CHK-CHK-CHK—SCREEEEE
Chorus
Flop-flop, slurp the tile
Neptune feet ain’t walked in miles
Toe bones dangling, brain’s on fire
Smells like ass and burning wires
They don’t knock, they kick the wall
Trip on air and scream at God
Verse 2
One alien pukes in a soup can
Another one humps a microwave stand
They speak in burps and broken math
Count backward, then piss and laugh
Floppy feet clapping out of time
Like drunk applause at a crime
[GUITAR SOLO — COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY]
BRRRRRR-NYEEE-DAHN-DAHN—SQUEEEEE—WHAM
Pre-Chorus
Neptune’s cold but their feet are warm
Sticky sins in a zero-g storm
Chorus
Flop-flop, hear ’em scream
Feet look like a bad wet dream
No shoes, no shame, no plan at all
Slip-slide into protocol
They chant “WHY?” then forget the word
Trip over nothing, flip the bird
Bridge (Spoken, maybe yelled)
I asked one where they came from
He said “TUESDAY” and bit my thumb
Another screamed “FEET ARE LIES”
Then fell over and apologized
[DUEL GUITAR SOLO — THEY DON’T MATCH KEYS]
SKREEE—WIDDLY—BONK—ZAAAAANG—thud
Verse 3
Their ships look like bent tin cans
Smell like sweat and bad intentions
Floppy feet stuck in the door
Dragging slime across the floor
Neptune calls, collect reversed
Nobody knows who’s cursed
Breakdown
FLAP
SPLAT
TRIP
FALL
FEET AIN’T REAL
NONE AT ALL
Chorus (Even Worse Than Before)
Flop-flop, Neptune scum
Feet like pancakes left in the sun
They invade, then lose the map
Slip on their own existential crap
Galaxy-wide embarrassment
Toe-first doom with zero intent
Outro
They left their feet
They stole my chair
Neptune aliens
Everywhere
flop… flop…
[LAST GUITAR SOLO — FEEDBACK UNTIL SOMEONE UNPLUGS IT]
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—click
Drewface
