I Say I’m Fine

You ask me how I’m doing, I say, “I’m fine,”

Little lie I’ve told a thousand times.

Smile on my face, laughter in my tone,

But the truth is something I carry alone.

I don’t want to be a weight you bear,

Don’t want to pull you into my despair.

So I swallow the ache, hide the cracks,

Say, “I’m okay,” and don’t look back.

⸻

But I’m not okay, I’m breaking inside,

Drowning in waves I try to hide.

I don’t want to be a bother, so I build this wall,

Pretend I’m standing when I’m ready to fall.

I say I’m fine, but it’s not the truth,

I’m just scared you’ll walk away if you knew.

⸻

I stay up late in a quiet room,

Thoughts get heavy like a sinking moon.

I hold my breath, don’t let it show,

You’d never guess the hurt I know.

It’s easier to carry it alone,

Than risk you leaving if I let it be known.

So I smile, I laugh, I change the talk,

While my heart’s worn thin with every walk.

⸻

But I’m not okay, I’m breaking inside,

Drowning in waves I try to hide.

I don’t want to be a bother, so I build this wall,

Pretend I’m standing when I’m ready to fall.

I say I’m fine, but it’s not the truth,

I’m just scared you’ll walk away if you knew.

⸻

Maybe one day I’ll let it show,

Maybe one day I’ll let you know.

But for now, it’s just easier to say,

“I’m fine”… and look away.

⸻

But I’m not okay, I’m breaking inside,

Drowning in waves I try to hide.

I don’t want to be a bother, so I build this wall,

Pretend I’m standing when I’m ready to fall.

I say I’m fine, but it’s not the truth,

I’m just scared you’ll walk away… if you knew.

⸻

So I say I’m fine…

But I’m not okay.