One Hole Outhouse

(Verse 1)
Well, out back behind the farmhouse, past the chicken coop and well,
Stands a little wooden outhouse with a most familiar smell.
It’s a one-seater, single-holer, built for just one person,
But when nature calls, if there's a line, you might hear some cursin!
(Chorus)
Oh, the one-hole outhouse ain't got much room,
You best be quick or you'll meet your doom!
When the door don't latch and the roof don’t hold,
You’ll be wishin’ for indoor plumbing when the weather gets cold.
(Verse 2)
Now my granny’s tummie's roaring, she’s been eatin’ pinto beans,
But Uncle Joe’s in there snorin’—been readin’ magazines!
Aunt Sue’s doin’ the potty dance, Grandpa’s yellin’ "Hurry!"
"I gotta go so bad my vision's getting blurry!"
(Verse 3)
Well, the preacher came on Sunday, just to bless our household right,
But after Ma’s fried chicken, he went runnin’ in mid-bite!
He slammed that door behind him, and he slammed it way too hard,
Now he’s stuck inside and screamin’—"Let me out, Dear Lard!"
(Chorus)
Oh, the one-hole outhouse ain't got much room,
You best be quick or you'll meet your doom!
If you hear a knock, well, don’t delay,
‘Cause the one-holer outhouse ain't no place to play.
(Verse 4)
My cousin Clyde’s the kind of guy who never was a learnin’,
He lit a match to see inside—oh that one-holer is a burnin.
That methane blast shot him fast, clear over to the shed,
Now he hasn't sat for a month, and his eyebrows are all dead!
(Verse 5)
Then a gust of wind came blowin’, knocked the outhouse on its side,
Grandpa rolled out cussin’, with his britches open wide!
The cows all ran for cover, the chickens took to flight,
And I ain't stopped laughin' since that fateful night!
(Chorus)
Oh, the one-hole outhouse ain't got much room,
You best be quick or you'll meet your doom!
If you hear a knock, well, don’t delay,
‘Cause holding up progress leads to heck to pay.

Bluegrass