I got down on my knees one night
Tears fallin’ under dim porch lights
Asked God, “Please take this need away
‘Cause loving him just left me in pain”
I was foolish enough to believe
If I gave my all, he’d stay with me
Gave him my heart, my soul, my trust
While he treated my love like dust
Every promise turned into lies
I kept drowning while he slept fine
Now I’m picking pieces off the floor
Learning I deserve so much more
(Pre-Chorus)
I deserve soft love, gentle hands
A man that leads with God’s own plans
Flowers just because he thought of me
Not because he’s scared to lose me
(Chorus)
I deserve a man that prays over me
Holds my heart like it’s sacred, carefully
A love that feels safe when the night gets cold
Not another man playing games with my soul
So until then, I’m gon’ love me
Heal these scars nobody sees
Boss up, glow up, find my peace
Turn my pain into luxury
I won’t beg for love no more
Won’t let nobody break me to the core
One day I’ll have what I desire
But until then… I’m choosing me higher
(Verse 2)
I confused bare minimum with love
Mistook inconsistency for trust
Kept watering a dead rose bush
While he kept pushing when I needed a pull
I wanted forever so bad
Ignored every red flag he had
Now I know heartbreak taught me this:
Self-love is where healing begins
I’m learning how to sit alone
Without feeling incomplete at home
Building the woman I’m meant to be
The version of me that finally sees
(Pre-Chorus)
That I deserve peace in my chest
Not anxiety dressed as romance
I deserve honesty and truth
Not empty words and broken proof
(Chorus)
I deserve a man that prays over me
Holds my heart like it’s sacred, carefully
A love that feels safe when the night gets cold
Not another man playing games with my soul
So until then, I’m gon’ love me
Heal these scars nobody sees
Boss up, glow up, find my peace
Turn my pain into luxury
I won’t beg for love no more
Won’t let nobody break me to the core
One day I’ll have what I desire
But until then… I’m choosing me higher
(Bridge)
I’m not hard to love
I was just loving the wrong one
And maybe God removed him
Because He heard conversations I never could
So I’ll stop asking Heaven
To kill my desire to be loved
And start asking God
To prepare me for the love I deserve
(Outro)
Till then, I’ll pour into me
Mind, body, soul intentionally
No more settling just to say somebody stayed
I’d rather stand alone than be loved halfway
And when real love finally finds my door
I won’t have to beg anymore
‘Cause the woman I become from this pain
Will never lose herself again…