Until Then, I’ll Love Me

I got down on my knees one night

Tears fallin’ under dim porch lights

Asked God, “Please take this need away

‘Cause loving him just left me in pain”

I was foolish enough to believe

If I gave my all, he’d stay with me

Gave him my heart, my soul, my trust

While he treated my love like dust

Every promise turned into lies

I kept drowning while he slept fine

Now I’m picking pieces off the floor

Learning I deserve so much more

(Pre-Chorus)

I deserve soft love, gentle hands

A man that leads with God’s own plans

Flowers just because he thought of me

Not because he’s scared to lose me

(Chorus)

I deserve a man that prays over me

Holds my heart like it’s sacred, carefully

A love that feels safe when the night gets cold

Not another man playing games with my soul

So until then, I’m gon’ love me

Heal these scars nobody sees

Boss up, glow up, find my peace

Turn my pain into luxury

I won’t beg for love no more

Won’t let nobody break me to the core

One day I’ll have what I desire

But until then… I’m choosing me higher

(Verse 2)

I confused bare minimum with love

Mistook inconsistency for trust

Kept watering a dead rose bush

While he kept pushing when I needed a pull

I wanted forever so bad

Ignored every red flag he had

Now I know heartbreak taught me this:

Self-love is where healing begins

I’m learning how to sit alone

Without feeling incomplete at home

Building the woman I’m meant to be

The version of me that finally sees

(Pre-Chorus)

That I deserve peace in my chest

Not anxiety dressed as romance

I deserve honesty and truth

Not empty words and broken proof

(Chorus)

I deserve a man that prays over me

Holds my heart like it’s sacred, carefully

A love that feels safe when the night gets cold

Not another man playing games with my soul

So until then, I’m gon’ love me

Heal these scars nobody sees

Boss up, glow up, find my peace

Turn my pain into luxury

I won’t beg for love no more

Won’t let nobody break me to the core

One day I’ll have what I desire

But until then… I’m choosing me higher

(Bridge)

I’m not hard to love

I was just loving the wrong one

And maybe God removed him

Because He heard conversations I never could

So I’ll stop asking Heaven

To kill my desire to be loved

And start asking God

To prepare me for the love I deserve

(Outro)

Till then, I’ll pour into me

Mind, body, soul intentionally

No more settling just to say somebody stayed

I’d rather stand alone than be loved halfway

And when real love finally finds my door

I won’t have to beg anymore

‘Cause the woman I become from this pain

Will never lose herself again…