The Apothecary's Grimoire

(Verse 1)

In shadows deep where mortals ail and weep,

I open wide the tome of remedies most strange.

With trembling voice and flickering candle's gleam,

I chant the forbidden syllables of healing's range:

**"Atorvastatin!"** — cholesterol chains dissolve!

**"Levothyroxine!"** — sluggish spirits revolve!

**"Metformin!"** — sugar demons flee the field,

**"Lisinopril!"** — pressure bows and yields!

(Chorus)

Oh sing the spells of the pharmacy arcane!

Swallow the magic, let power surge through vein!

From amber vials the incantations pour,

Cure or curse — who can say for sure?

(Verse 2)

When darkness gathers, when the mind grows dim,

I call upon the whispered names within:

**"Sertraline!"** — chase the shadows from the soul!

**"Escitalopram!"** — make the broken heart feel whole!

**"Omeprazole!"** — acid dragons roar no more!

**"Albuterol!"** — breathe, oh wheezer, breathe once more!

(Bridge – slower, more ominous)

But beware the double-edged elixir's art…

**"Warfarin!"** — blood flows free, yet death may start.

**"Clopidogrel!"** — platelets sleep, the vessels sing,

One wrong incantation — and the reaper springs.

(Verse 3 – building faster)

For foes I raise a darker pharmacopeia:

**"Ondansetron!"** — nausea retreats in fear!

**"Sumatriptan!"** — migraine beasts explode!

**"Pregabalin!"** — nerves in torment overload!

**"Amoxicillin!"** — bacterial hordes decay!

**"Azithromycin!"** — five-day doom, they say!

**"Ciprofloxacin!"** — quiver, microbes, quake!

**"Metronidazole!"** — anaerobic curses break!

(Final Chorus – triumphant/crazy crescendo)

So raise your vials to the moonlit sky!

Drink deep the Latin, let the old names fly!

**"Xanax!"** panic shatter! **"Adderall!"** awake the mind!

**"Ozempic!"** hunger banish! **"Eliquis!"** clots unbind!

We wizards of the mortar, we sorcerers of the script,

Turn suffering to sonnets with every prescription quip.

So here's to every tablet, cap, and syrup gleam —

The greatest spellbook ever…

…is the pharmacy dream!

(Fade out chanting softly)

Atorva… Levo… Metfor… Lisi…

…what's one more pill… between you and eternity…?