I Wished I Loved You

(Verse 1)
I wished I love you even if I knew I won't
I made you like me... shawty I know my wrong
When you told me how you feel
I found out that I lost a friend
You were the only one who was there for me
When I tripped in the mud and was too blind to see
You swore I'll be alright...
Even if my demons were hard to fight

(Verse 2)
I kinda miss you but I never text
Never been with you but feels like you're my ex
Drugs were my life and sex my escape
The mug shared my nights when it was hard to fake my smile
But I don't say that I was right
That I was right...

(Chorus)
Tell me what to do when you lost a friend
By being you on that substance
Now sober up and I feel like shit
Cause I know what's next after this sip
I traded the drugs for a cup
I bet my life... wish me luck

(Verse 3)
I’m staring at the read receipt from months ago
Afraid to say I'm sorry ‘cause I’m scared to know
If you’re doing better now that I’m not in the way
Or if you still remember all the things I used to say
When the pills spoke for me, and the ego was loud
Now I’m walking through the silence, just another face in the crowd
You wanted a lover, I just wanted a ghost
I ended up hurting the one who loved me the most

(Chorus)
Tell me what to do when you lost a friend
By being you on that substance
Now sober up and I feel like shit
Cause I know what's next after this sip
I traded the drugs for a cup
I bet my life... wish me luck

(Outro)
Yeah, I bet it all on a hollow hand
Built our friendship on shifting sand
Now the mud is dry, but I still can’t see
Why I chose the poison over you and me
(Over you and me...)
I wished I loved you...
But I’m just waking up.

realism, raw, exhausted, hazy, down-tempo, disorted bass, muddy, crisp, cold, lonely, brutal, loop, male, lo-fi/emo-rap