Well welcome to the jungle where the robots spark and scream,
Where Matt’s our supervisor — nicest guy you ever seen.
He’s too sweet to yell at anybody, we protect him like a pup,
’Cause if his manager pushes harder, Matt’s gonna break up like a cheap ol’ cup.
Then there’s Jeff (yep, that’s me), lead number one, runnin’ round like a rooster on crack,
Tryin’ to hold this circus together with duct tape and one bad back.
Old Mikey’s shufflin’ around, movin’ slower than a forklift in the snow,
Set in his ways since ’82… retirement? “Hell no, not yet, but close though!”
And JT just got his lead man stripes — boy’s eager, loud, and bright,
Overachievin’ every second, probably practices welds at night.
WE’RE SPARK-SLINGIN’, STEEL-BANGIN’, ROBOT-HILLBILLIES ON THE CLOCK,
Where half the crew’s half-asleep and the other half’s ready to walk.
AIN’T NO SHOP ON EARTH AS WILD
AS DEPARTMENT 41 ROBOT ROCK!
Nick calls in every mornin’, sayin’, “Boss… I overslept again.”
We’re thinkin’ he’s got a mattress made of magnets — he just can’t get outta that den.
Robert looks mad at the whole damn world, but it’s just his face he wears,
Quiet Angel don’t say much — might’ve spoken once last June,
We’re still not sure if it was words or just him hummin’ a tune.
Then Aaron starts explainin’ why he can’t do job 8, 9, or 10 —
Got more excuses than a dog that ate students’ homework again.
And Chicago rolls in talkin’ smack, yellin’ “Nathan, beat my score!”
Two hillbillies racin’ robots like street racers settlin’ a war.
Night-shift Robert shows up with a cowboy hat older than sin,
Knives, pliers, mystery gadgets — looks like he’s camped out in a junkyard bin.
Then there’s Sanaya, shy but bouncin’ with energy, zoomin’ like a caffeined bee,
She’s quiet, sweet, and brand-new — but welds better than half the damn team.
Mendenhall sits in the corner, don’t poke him, leave him be,
Talk to him before coffee and he’ll stare straight through your soul cavity.
Kyle’s laid back like Sunday mornin’, buildin’ vac lids slick and clean,
He welds so smooth and easy you’d swear that boy’s in a daydream
And Andrew loves his robot more than life,
I swear one day he’ll bring that robot home and introduce it to his wife
WE'RE WELD-SLANGIN’, SMOKE-BREATHIN’, GREASY-HAT HILLBILLY CREW,
Maria started on the forklift, now she’s weldin’ with a grin,
Though every day she’s either late or has a car that died again.
Kids sick, tire blew, “Boss, I swear it ain’t my fault!”
Billy Sebrant in his overalls — good ol’ boy with a robot gal
Austin’s muscles busting sleeves like the Hulk in a welding booth,
Flexes so much that even his gloves got veins, and that’s the honest truth
And Hayden’s askin’ if he can work with Austin inside of his welding booth
Then Double D strolls in lookin’ bored, starin’ like he’s half awake
