A Reliable man named Eric

Verse 1
There’s a man named Eric, yeah the legend they lean on,
When the plan’s half-broken and the night’s already gone.
Most reliable bastard in a sinking damn ship,
Smile stapled on tight like his too-small Levi fit.

Navy stamped on his past like a bad tattoo,
Deployed overseas learnin’ what not to do.
He says it like weather, like it’s no big deal—
“Chasin’ ladyboys with pickle barrels in the Philippines,” real.

Chorus
Yeah, Eric’s the most reliable man alive,
World could end twice and he’d still show up at five.
Dead eyes, dry humor, soul runnin’ on fumes,
If he ain’t in the office, stall three’s his confessional booth.

Verse 2
Runs a Siempelkamp press like it owes him money,
Woods screams louder than the jokes that ain’t funny.
Hydraulics cry, alarms lose their breath,
Eric just mutters, “Yeah… that tracks,” under his death.

His dad knows John Wick—don’t ask, don’t pry,
Family reunions feel like a coin toss with God on the line.
Close friend of the family, violence on speed dial,
So Eric learned young how to shrug and smile.

Chorus
Eric’s the most reliable man you’ll meet,
Holds it together with caffeine and teeth.
Levi jeans screaming, circulation denied,
If he ain’t at his desk, stall three’s occupied.

Verse 3
Gotta motivate Ricky like it’s cardio for the soul,
“C’mon man, pretend you care—set a goal.”
Then Brandon needs teachin’, yellin’, repeat,
Same lesson every day, same brick wall, same seat.

Part babysitter, part warning sign,
Part “this is fine” while the room’s on fire.
He don’t break down, nah, he just absorbs,
Like a sponge made of spite, duty, and chores.

Bridge
He’s seen worse, done worse, shrugs it off clean,
Says trauma’s just mileage, nothin’ obscene.
John Wick at the cookout, death in the genes,
So Eric laughs low and keeps things routine.

Final Chorus
Yeah, Eric’s the most reliable man around,
Built from bad choices and overtime drowned.
Dark jokes, tight jeans, faith hangin’ by thread,
If the place hasn’t collapsed, Eric’s not dead.

Outro
So here’s to the men who don’t get the praise,
Just more damn problems added daily to the pile.
From the Navy to stall three, from wood to sin—
The world keeps crackin’, but Eric clocks in.
Everyone needs to be more like Eric

Darker humor, comedic country, sarcastic song