[Intro]
[Spoken word]
Now, listen up kids!
Now that I'm older,
This is the advice that I WISH my father
had given me, but didn't.
[Verse 0]
Winners never quit, quitters never win.
Lying is stealing someone's truth.
People are going to disappoint you,
they're still people, worthy of love.
Tip servers fifteen percent or more.
They don't get paid like us by the hour.
Don't judge people by appearance,
unless they have face tattoos.
[Verse 1]
Choose a spouse wisely, you're stuck with them.
Love is a choice, not a feeling.
You can love unconditionally, if you choose.
You should forgive, but not forget.
You have to be a friend to get a friend.
Not everyone who likes you Is your friend.
A friend will drive 3 states to come get you.
Everyone else is an acquaintance.
Don't lend to friends or family, just give.
When you give, give freely.
If you want it back, or attach strings,
or resent it, it was never a gift.
[Verse 2]
It's okay to say no to people.
And set boundaries with them.
Don't take on other people's problems.
But a friend should offer help.
Don't be afraid to end a friendship,
Especially if it's one-sided.
No one respects a doormat.
Just be honest and tell them why.
[Verse 3]
White cars hide dirt and are cooler in summer.
Change your oil twice a year.
Don't buy brand new cars,
unless you have money to waste.
Find a good mechanic and a good lawyer.
Find a good doctor, and an accountant.
Find good ones, not just brothers-in-law.
Keep an eye out, before you need them.
[Verse 4]
If you do something for a decade,
you should be a master of that trade.
Always give 2 weeks notice.
'Cause you may have to go back.
Overtime is paid at time and a half.
If you're getting lots of overtime,
your boss would pay you more.
Tell them to give you a raise,
or hire more help.
[Verse 5]
If you're in business, and always busy
Your prices are too low.
You're competing with yourself,
and you're losing.
The customer is NOT always right.
Some are crooks or clinically insane.
20% of customers give 80% of problems.
Identify the 20% and flush them.
[Verse 6]
Being polite and obeying laws are
ways we show respect to other people.
Rebellious behavior does the opposite.
Be a good example to young people.
Did you create yourself and the universe?
No... That was God...
Show God respect and love,
and He may treat you as his child.
Love Jesus with all your heart.
Don't forget to get saved.
[Verse 6]
Make a will, even if it seems like overkill.
Your friends and family will know you
Were thinking of them.
Ask for the cheapest funeral. It's a waste of money.
That's about it. I wish he had told me.
I hope this advice helps you.
So follow this advice or don't.
After all, it's your funeral.
[Outtro]
