I Swear I'm Fine (I'm Not)

Another night, same whiskey glass,

Same lies I tell so no one asks.

I laugh it off like it don’t hurt,

Bury the truth deep in the dirt.

But this heart’s a loaded gun,

And it’s shaking in my chest, son.

These feelings I can’t shoot down,

They’re screaming but I make no sound.

I bite my tongue till it bleeds,

‘Cause love’s a wound that never leaves.

And every word I never said,

Is echoing inside my head.

I swear I’m fine — I’m not.

I say I don’t care, but I’m caught.

I built these walls like they’d protect me,

But they just trap what’s left of me.

I wanna say fuck my feelings, but I can’t stop,

‘Cause my heart’s too full, it just won’t drop.

Yeah, I swear I’m fine — I’m not.

I light a smoke, pretend I’m tough,

But that’s just code for “I’ve had enough.”

You ever love so hard it breaks you?

So deep inside it remakes you?

I keep my love behind my teeth,

Like secrets I’ll take underneath.

But it’s burning holes through my pride,

Every truth I’ve tried to hide.

I drink to drown what won’t die,

Love’s a ghost that don’t say goodbye.

And I’m haunted by what I feel,

For someone who’ll never know it’s real.

I swear I’m fine — I’m not.

I say I don’t care, but I’m caught.

I wanna scream to the heavens I love you,

But silence is the only thing I can do.

I wanna say fuck my feelings, make it stop,

But this heart don’t listen, it just won’t drop.

Yeah, I swear I’m fine — I’m not.

There’s a ring of smoke where hope once was,

Ashes on my tongue from what love does.

Every “maybe someday” turned to “never mind,”

Every “I’m okay” just kills me inside.

I talk big like I don’t give a damn,

But I’d break down if you took my hand.

I’m the king of keeping pain in line,

But it’s eating me alive this time.

There’s thunder in my rib cage,

Lightning in my veins,

And I smile through the heartbreak,

Like it ain’t driving me insane.

Every “I’m okay” I’ve ever said,

Is a lie dressed up in red.

So here I stand, under these stars,

Cursing love for all these scars.

I’d give my heart if it meant a damn,

But love don’t care who you really am.

And I’m stuck between the scream and the sigh,

Between letting go and asking why.

If loving you means I fall apart,

Then I’ll break — but I’ll call it art.

They say time heals, but time’s a liar,

Just fuels the hurt, just feeds the fire.

And I’m so tired of pretending I’m strong,

When I’ve been breaking all along.

I swear I’m fine — I’m not.

This love’s the war I never fought.

I’m tired of bleeding through a grin,

I’m tired of hiding what’s within.

I wanna scream your name till the stars drop,

But my pride won’t let my heart stop.

Yeah, I swear I’m fine — I’m not.

No, I swear I’m fine... but I’m not.

So here’s my truth, raw and rough,

I act hard ‘cause love’s too much.

If silence is the price I pay,

Then I’ll die with what I can’t say.

Yeah, I swear I’m fine,

…but I’m not.