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When they ask how I am, 

I say, “I’m fine”.

But the truth hides behind tight smiles

And clenched teeth.

I’m holding a mask, fragile, waiting to crack.

Inside me, sadness rises

I feel like I’m drowning

It’s tight.

Hard to breathe

But I hold my breath

Because if I let it go,

I’ll break. 

So I stay quiet.

I laugh when I should cry.

I nod when I want to fall apart.

I carry this weight alone

Because I don’t want to be a burden.

And even when my chest aches,

Even when the tears press at the edge,

I swallow it all down

Just to keep the peace.

Just to keep others from worrying.

But I wonder…

I wonder

How long can I keep pretending

Before the cracks finally show?

You might think I have it all together,

But I’m slipping

Far, and farther

Dreams?

I had them.

Big ones. 

But they’ve faded. 

Quietly, 

Like flames flickering away

And even with all this

I wake up, 

Put on the mask, 

and try again. 

Maybe that’s not strength. 

But maybe, 

It’s enough to not break.