Borderline

First, let me say I love you. Yes,

there’s no words that I have ever said more true

And honestly, I’m not gonna lie or pretend

That I haven’t been mean or rude

But those hateful words that you choose rip my heart out and leave my mind so confused

I replay them in my head on loop,

trying to love you while I’m losing you

Second-guessing every tone I use

Wondering if love is what we’re cruising to

I keep reaching for the version of you I knew

While I’m fading just to get through

We both damaged, both dragging our past

Two minds sick, tryna make it last

I know my flaws, yeah I see my role

But knowing don’t stop the toll

Idk Is it my borderline or your bipolar

you love me, then, you hate me and tell me it's over The next minute you need me dont leave please be closer, i'm so confused. I don't know what to do i want to choose you but mentally I can't take I can’t take this abuse

(yeah… I can’t take it)

I admit it—I shut down when it’s loud

Disappear mid-fight, that’s on me now

I go cold, I retreat, I vanish quick

Like distance is a fix

I know my silence hurts you bad

I know avoidance drives you mad

I carry guilt for the ways I cope

But guilt ain’t love and fear ain’t hope

You say you’re hurting, I believe it’s real

But pain don’t justify how it feels

I’ll own my mess, I’ll face my shame

But love shouldn’t feel like playing with flames

Idk Is it my borderline or your bipolar

you love me, then, you hate me and tell me it's over The next minute you need me dont leave please be closer,

i'm so confused. I don't know what to do

i want to choose you but mentally I can't take

I can’t take this abuse

(yeah… I can’t take it)

I tried to be patient, tried to be calm

Tried to be strong while breaking my arm

Holding us up while losing my spine

Calling it love while losing my mind

I’m not your villain, not your disease

But I can’t keep bleeding just so you can breathe I love you but love isn’t fear

And the love that you've had for me, I think, is already disappeared

I know my words cut sharp when I’m hurt

I’ve thrown my own dirt in the dirt

I take responsibility, sit with regret and try to reflect but here comes those words that cut like a dagger with so much disrespect

And like I said, I know that I say stuff.

But it doesn't mean I deserve that abuse that I get, Two broken people don’t cancel the pain

They amplify storms inside hurricanes

I’m choosing growth even if it burns

I can’t stay stuck just to prove i love you and still to get abused Idk Is it my borderline or your bipolar you love me, then, you hate me and tell me it's over The next minute you need me dont leave please be closer, i'm so confused. I don't know what to do i want to choose you but mentally I can't take I can’t take this abuse (yeah… I can’t take it no more) I’ll take blame for the shit that I do But I won’t stay somewhere I’m losing my truth I love you but loving you Shouldn’t mean losing me too And I don't think you realize this is real life and it hurts So bad because I love you