Until You Were the First

I built houses out of echoes

Rooms where no one ever stayed

Learned to kiss the quiet goodnight

And sleep inside the ache it made

I had a heart that knew the theory

Knew the words, the shape, the sound

But every hand that reached to hold it

Somehow never touched the ground

I was fluent in almost loving

Spoke it perfectly every time

But the language of being wanted

Was a dialect I couldn’t find

Then you walked in like Sunday morning

Soft and certain, no disguise

And suddenly my chest remembered

What it feels like to be alive

You’re the first one who stayed long enough

For the frost inside to break

The first hand that reached my heartbeat

And didn’t flinch away

I used to think I was the damage

That I came with warning signs

That love would always leave me bleeding

Just to prove that I’m still mine

But you keep kissing all the fractures

Like they’re maps to where I am

And for once I’m not apologizing

For the shaking in my hands

You’re the first one who stayed long enough

For the frost inside to break

The first hand that reached my heartbeat

And didn’t flinch away

I didn’t know I’d been starving

Until you taught my skin to eat

I didn’t know I could tremble

From something softer than defeat

You’re the only one who ever

Made the colors bleed back in

The first and only one who loved me

Before I learned to love again

And if tomorrow forgets my name

And the dark comes rushing through

At least once I was really held

And darling… that was you.

That was you.