“Bottle in My Hands”
(Verse 1)
Waking up feels heavier every day,
Same dark ceiling, same thoughts that never change.
I stare at the mirror but I don’t see me,
Just somebody tired of trying to breathe.
The house gets quiet and my mind gets loud,
So I pour another drink just to drown it out.
Temporary peace in a burning glass,
A little numbness so the night can pass.
(Pre-Chorus)
‘Cause being sober means I feel too much,
And I don’t know who I am without this crutch.
(Chorus)
The bottle in my hands keeps me alive,
Even though it’s slowly killing me inside.
I drink until the emptiness gets quiet,
Until the loneliness stops starting riots.
Every sip feels like a place to hide,
A way to survive another night.
And I know this road is dragging me down,
But it’s the only thing that stays around.
(Verse 2)
Friends stopped calling, I stopped answering,
Can’t explain this weight that lives in me.
Everybody says, “Just let it go,”
But they don’t know how cold these nights get alone.
So I keep chasing sleep at the bottom of a cup,
Trying to feel anything or nothing enough.
And for a moment the pain disappears,
Then it all comes back even worse, still here.
(Bridge)
I don’t wanna die, I just don’t wanna hurt,
But healing feels impossible when you’re this burned.
So I toast to the silence, toast to the ache,
Toast to another version of me I couldn’t save.
(Final Chorus)
The bottle in my hands keeps me alive,
Even though it’s stealing pieces of my life.
And every night I swear this is the last one,
Then the morning comes and I still feel numb.
I’m tired of fighting ghosts I cannot see,
Tired of carrying this emptiness in me.
But without the alcohol, I fall apart…
So I keep holding poison close to my heart.
