Never half way there

I don’t do half, I don’t do small,

If I step in, I give it my all.

I spread my wings so I can fly, then in a blink of an eye I can fall from the Sky

The physical pain, no one will see, because I carry the pain deep and emotionally.

I don’t just feel, i don’t just cry, I manifest sharp lighting in my minds eye.

don’t mean harsh words, I don’t mean to fight,

I don’t wake up prepared or looking for spite.

My heart on edge and nerves pulled tight. I’ve lived my life in a state of flight.

My thoughts don’t line up in single file, they crash together, mile on mile.

Just a shift in tone, a look, a word, my internal warning light is instantly stirred.

Without intention i will strike and sting, I will start defending my everything.

When trust feels thin or shame draws near,

My voice gets sharper and my vision gets clear.

It’s not a game of win or lose,

It’s fear disguised as something bruised.

Emotions get loud, control goes thin, Too many live wires beneath my skin.

And that’s the truth I’ve come to see —

Intensity is a part of me.

I don’t do half of heart or plea, You get me whole, or none of me.

That’s not a threat, nor is it pride. It isn’t vanity I hold inside.

It’s just how I’m wired , like the tide and the sea, a little gift life has given me.

One thing I can say

and with conviction too, when I say I love you, it’s pure and true.

I will love you with passion, fierce and kind. Sometimes you will feel you’re loosing your mind.

When in the end, I loose you my friend, my heart will hold your weight and keep it locked up safe. I don’t let go but I won’t let you stay. You’ll become another path in my super highway.

So one thing I ask very carefully, please make a promise to my inner me, no matter the pain, know I’m not insane, just hold me tight and say it again, this the way you chose it to be,

You promised to accept all of me.