Babies I Hold

(Intro)
Blue lights cut the dark again…
Another ghost just climbed in my chest.
You don’t see ‘em.
I feel every one.
(Verse 1)
Pulled up to that house, lights spinning like a broken halo
Baby on the floor, eyes wide but nobody home
Skin like porcelain, lips turning snow
She looked just like my daughter, same damn nose
Mom screaming in the hallway, “She’s breathing, right?”
I lied through my teeth, “It’s gonna be alright”
But it wasn’t. Never is.
Now I drive home, pull in the driveway slow
My little girl runs up, same face, same glow
Wife kisses my cheek, says “Rough one, babe?”
I smile, say “I’m good,” but the dead baby stays
Every time I close my eyes she’s right there
Waking up drenched, heart in my throat, gasping for air
(Pre-Chorus)
You can’t kill what’s already dead inside
I bottle the pain, spill it out, then lock it back tight
It fills faster than I can bleed it dry
Another call, another ghost, another night I die
(Chorus)
So scream ACAB, scream fuck twelve all you want
You see us once a year when your taillight’s burnt out
I live in the worst day of somebody else’s life
Every single shift, every single night
I’ve walked a million miles in strangers’ shoes
You couldn’t walk an inch in these blood-stained boots
You preach empathy from your phone, safe and warm
I’ve held dying babies while their mamas mourn
Fuck you—you don’t know what I’ve been through
(Verse 2)
Last shift the house was already roaring when we rolled up
Baby covered in ash by the road, screaming at the top of his lungs
Little brother dead and burning in the doorway
Parents high inside, cooking meth when it all went up
We pulled that kid out while the flames swallowed the rest
Car wreck on the interstate, kids torn apart in the back
Drunk driver walks away laughing, not a scratch
While I’m scraping their daughter’s teeth off the dash
Some Karen blocks the road yelling “You’re all corrupt”
While real blood runs down these streets
(Pre-Chorus)
You can’t kill what’s already dead inside
I bottle the pain, spill it out, then lock it back tight
High to low to high to low, the rollercoaster never stops
One second saving a life, next watching it drop
(Chorus)
So scream ACAB, scream fuck twelve all you want
You see us once a year when your taillight’s burnt out
I live in the worst day of somebody else’s life
Every single shift, every single night
I’ve walked a million miles in strangers’ shoes
You couldn’t walk an inch in these blood-stained boots
You preach empathy from your phone, safe and warm
I’ve held dying babies while their mamas mourn
Fuck you—you don’t know what I’ve been through
(Bridge)
Face ripped clean off the muscle, eyes still blinking at me
Begging for his mama while the blood paints the street
New ghosts ride home with me every time I clock out
They just sit there staring
Reminding me I chose this and I’d choose it again
But Jesus Christ, it never leaves
Outro
They follow me home every single night
New ghosts in the rear-view, same dead eyes
I kiss my daughter goodnight, tell her Daddy’s fine
But when the lights go out they line up in line
You’ll never walk these boots, never carry this weight
So keep screaming you hate me…
I’ll keep showing up anyway

Raw emotional vocal rap, deep baritone screams of pain, mid-tempo atmospheric haunting production, intimate gothic vibe