Babies I Hold

(Intro)

Blue lights cut the dark again…

Another ghost just climbed in my chest.

You don’t see ‘em.

I feel every one.

(Verse 1)

Pulled up to that house, lights spinning like a broken halo

Baby on the floor, eyes wide but nobody home

Skin like porcelain, lips turning snow

She looked just like my daughter, same damn nose

Mom screaming in the hallway, “She’s breathing, right?”

I lied through my teeth, “It’s gonna be alright”

But it wasn’t. Never is.

Now I drive home, pull in the driveway slow

My little girl runs up, same face, same glow

Wife kisses my cheek, says “Rough one, babe?”

I smile, say “I’m good,” but the dead baby stays

Every time I close my eyes she’s right there

Waking up drenched, heart in my throat, gasping for air

(Pre-Chorus)

You can’t kill what’s already dead inside

I bottle the pain, spill it out, then lock it back tight

It fills faster than I can bleed it dry

Another call, another ghost, another night I die

(Chorus)

So scream ACAB, scream fuck twelve all you want

You see us once a year when your taillight’s burnt out

I live in the worst day of somebody else’s life

Every single shift, every single night

I’ve walked a million miles in strangers’ shoes

You couldn’t walk an inch in these blood-stained boots

You preach empathy from your phone, safe and warm

I’ve held dying babies while their mamas mourn

Fuck you—you don’t know what I’ve been through

(Verse 2)

Last shift the house was already roaring when we rolled up

Baby covered in ash by the road, screaming at the top of his lungs

Little brother dead and burning in the doorway

Parents high inside, cooking meth when it all went up

We pulled that kid out while the flames swallowed the rest

Car wreck on the interstate, kids torn apart in the back

Drunk driver walks away laughing, not a scratch

While I’m scraping their daughter’s teeth off the dash

Some Karen blocks the road yelling “You’re all corrupt”

While real blood runs down these streets

(Pre-Chorus)

You can’t kill what’s already dead inside

I bottle the pain, spill it out, then lock it back tight

High to low to high to low, the rollercoaster never stops

One second saving a life, next watching it drop

(Chorus)

So scream ACAB, scream fuck twelve all you want

You see us once a year when your taillight’s burnt out

I live in the worst day of somebody else’s life

Every single shift, every single night

I’ve walked a million miles in strangers’ shoes

You couldn’t walk an inch in these blood-stained boots

You preach empathy from your phone, safe and warm

I’ve held dying babies while their mamas mourn

Fuck you—you don’t know what I’ve been through

(Bridge)

Face ripped clean off the muscle, eyes still blinking at me

Begging for his mama while the blood paints the street

New ghosts ride home with me every time I clock out

They just sit there staring

Reminding me I chose this and I’d choose it again

But Jesus Christ, it never leaves

Outro

They follow me home every single night

New ghosts in the rear-view, same dead eyes

I kiss my daughter goodnight, tell her Daddy’s fine

But when the lights go out they line up in line

You’ll never walk these boots, never carry this weight

So keep screaming you hate me…

I’ll keep showing up anyway