Outlaw Cuck Santa!! by PrinceShawn - Zona

Outlaw Cuck Santa!! by PrinceShawn - Zona

Lyrics

[Intro]

(Spoken with harmonica wail) Yeah, this ain't your mama's Christmas tale... Santa's a straight-up outlaw, pimpin' and pushin' all year. Ho ho ho? Nah, fuck that—it's "ho, get on your knees." North Pole's a goddamn circus of sin. Let's ride. (Guitar twang fades in)

[Verse 1]

Woke up at 3 a.m., fridge light fuckin' glaring like a spotlight on my shame

Cookies crumbled, milk spilled—evidence of his twisted game

Stockings ripped open, then I spot that bloated sack of lies

All my goddamn holiday highs, jacked by that red-suited swine (fuckin' pig)

He's creepin' in houses all year, not just December's eve

Bangin' lonely wives while hubby's asleep, leavin' 'em beggin' for more, believe

Red suit optional—most days he's in jeans, slingin' snow from the Pole

Pure coke cut with elf dust, got the world hooked on his control (that bastard)

[Chorus]

Santa's stealin' my stash, that jolly-ass pimp and thief

Fucks your wife, pushes packs, wrecks your family peace

Big red bag full of blow, yeah, he cleans out the street

Eats your snacks, bangs your bitch, then ghosts like a cheat (fuck yeah)

Santa's stealin' my stash, no gifts, just debris and grief

Note on the plate: "Thanks for the pussy, you weak-ass chief"

Elves in the sleigh flippin' keys, Mrs. Claus on her knees

Santa's all-year fuckfest, now he's taxin' me (that fat fuck's taxin' me, year-round)

[Verse 2]

Rudolph's in the alley, nose red from snortin' lines of that North Pole pure

Whole reindeer's squad geeked up, eyes wild, fur matted with lure

He laughs, "I've been runnin' this trap house all goddamn year

You ain't the first cuck Santa fucked over, shed a tear" (motherfucker)

Got a naughty list? That's his hit sheet for wives to seduce

Snow in the bag—heroin highs, bells jinglin' as he gets loose

Drops toys for the kids by day, but at night he's the dealer king

Double-back for the midnight fuck, leavin' marriages in a sling (skrrt, you pathetic cunt)

[Chorus]

Santa's stealin' my stash, that jolly-ass pimp and thief

Fucks your wife, pushes packs, wrecks your family peace

Big red bag full of blow, yeah, he cleans out the street

Eats your snacks, bangs your bitch, then ghosts like a cheat (fuck yeah)

Santa's stealin' my stash, no gifts, just debris and grief

Note on the plate: "Thanks for the pussy, you weak-ass chief"

Elves in the sleigh flippin' keys, Mrs. Claus on her knees

Santa's all-year fuckfest, now he's taxin' me (that fat fuck's taxin' me, year-round)

[Verse 3]

Frosty the Snowman's meltin' in the corner, high as fuck on Santa's weed

Abominable Yeti's guardin' the stash, teeth gnashin', eyes full of greed

Krampus lurkin' in shadows, whippin' the elves who step out of line

While Santa's balls-deep in your missus, sippin' eggnog mixed with shine (goddamn degenerate)

All year he's hustlin'—January to November, no breaks for the saint

Pimpin' out polar bears as muscle, turnin' igloos into dens of complaint

But come Christmas, he dons the suit, plays the role with a wink and a grin

Steals your joy, fucks your world, then rides off into sin (that slimy prick)

[Extended Bridge with Breakdown]

(Harmonica solo builds tension, then rap breakdown with slowing beats)

I raided the North Pole, pistol cocked, ready to end this fade

Mrs. Claus at the gate, skirt hiked up, fresh-fucked in the shade

She's a North Pole slut, bangin' every elf and reindeer in sight

Said, "Santa's out pimpin', boy—he don't sleep, owns the night" (whore)

He's the plug for the fiends, the dick for the dames, got the globe on a string

Rapes the season with his twisted regime, feastin' on broken dreams

Elves cookin' meth in the workshop, toys laced with fentanyl dust

Rudolph's OD'd twice, but Santa revives him—can't lose his trust (fucked-up empire)

(Breakdown fades with echoing curses: "Fuck Santa... year-round bastard...")

[Chorus]

Santa's stealin' my stash, that jolly-ass pimp and thief

Fucks your wife, pushes packs, wrecks your family peace

Big red bag full of blow, yeah, he cleans out the street

Eats your snacks, bangs your bitch, then ghosts like a cheat (fuck yeah, extended)

Santa's stealin' my stash, no gifts, just debris and grief

Note on the plate: "Thanks for the pussy, you weak-ass chief"

Elves in the sleigh flippin' keys, Mrs. Claus on her knees

Santa's all-year fuckfest, now he's taxin' me (that fat fuck's taxin' me, year-round... taxin' me forever)

[Outro]

(Fading guitar and beats) Yeah, Santa's no saint—just a womanizin' dealer in red... Fucks your life all year, leaves you for dead... North Pole's a hellhole, creatures all twisted... Merry fuckin' Christmas? Nah, get pissed and enlisted... (Echo: "Taxin' me... taxin' me...")