[Intro – Breath / Room Tone]
Eyes open.
Lights low.
I’m here…
Just trying to stay.
⸻
[Verse 1]
I wake up already listening
Like danger might breathe my name
Every sound feels intentional
Every shadow feels the same
My body’s here, my mind drifts off
Like I stepped outside my skin
Watching myself from the corner
Trying to remember when
I don’t tell people when I start disappearing
I just answer less, clear my space
It’s not drama, it’s not attention
It’s a weight I can’t explain
⸻
[Pre-Chorus]
My heart stays armed even at rest
They think silence means I’m calm
But silence is where the war goes
Where I hold it in my palms
⸻
[Chorus]
I live between awake and gone
Not asleep, not fully on
My thoughts split like broken glass
Every second scans the past
If I go quiet, don’t assume
That I’m giving up or leaving soon
This isn’t peace, it’s how I cope
Staying here without the hope
⸻
[Verse 2]
Night bends rules of what feels real
Faces blur into the dark
Whispers crawl along the walls
Like my fear learned how to talk
I know it’s just my tired mind
But knowing doesn’t make it stop
I check the door, I check the clock
Like the room might change its thoughts
I stop picturing a future
Not because I want to die
But because imagining tomorrow
Feels heavier than goodbye
⸻
[Pre-Chorus 2]
It’s not that I don’t care
It’s that caring hurts too much
Hypervigilance in my veins
Reading danger in the small stuff
⸻
[Chorus – Altered]
If I go quiet, it’s not a threat
It’s me trying not to snap my neck
On thoughts I didn’t ask to have
On a life that keeps demanding breath
I don’t disappear—I detach
Float above what I can’t match
This isn’t weakness, it’s control
Staying present costs my soul
⸻
[Bridge – Clarifying / Grounding]
Suicidal thoughts aren’t a plan
They’re exhaustion talking loud
They’re the brain saying “I can’t do this”
Not “I don’t want to be around”
Some of us don’t want death
We want rest
We want the noise to loosen grip
Without us having to disappear for it
I name the room, I name the date
I remind my heart it’s late
⸻
[Final Chorus / Outro]
I’m still here, even when I fade
Still breathing through the haze
This isn’t who I’ll always be
Just how I survive what happened to me
If I go quiet, check on me
Not to save me—just to see
If there’s still a part that wants to stay
Even when I can’t say
(soft)
I didn’t leave.
I didn’t quit.
I just needed the world
To stop for a minute.
InaruisSignal88
