Kaylin in July

The night you hung yourself, felt like I hung myself too, 8 months pregnant, only me and me in the room, dissociating, put my mind on vacation

I thought you’d always be there but I looked around and you were no where.

I put on mask of strength knowing it wasn’t true but now I had a family except it felt like no one was in the room,

damn

and you should have known I needed you too

but you were way too broken to see anyone else in the room,

Damn

I saw ghosts of you on my walls

Spirits

You were the only one I wanted to call but you were dead

You couldn’t hear it

I thought of you the first night I held my son,

Everyone else was there but you were the one I needed

My best friends dead

They prescribed me a med but it didn’t get close to what I needed

They say suicide an easy way out,

Shits not been easy for me,

Never thought this how it would be,

My kids will never meet you,

Hope they don’t end up like you,

Shit,

I hope they don’t end up like me neither,

But I hope they laugh how you did,

Hope they love like you did,

Shit I even hope they cry like you did,

Cause you were an open book

You thought no one wanted to read

But we were reading

Loves all you needed

But you had it

You had me

You had your family too

We all loved you

Never forget you

Laugh it off like yeah it’s coo

Robin

You’re still loved here on earth

But you needed a rebirth

That’s between god and you

I’ll miss you till I see you again

You’ll always be my best friend