Don’t Bless What’s Killing Me

I don’t need a beat drop, I need a heart check

Talking to myself like God, where we at next?

I quote You when it’s easy, hide when it’s not

Say I trust You with my mouth, but my fear says I don’t

I pray for open doors, then I bolt when they crack

Say I want the truth, but I flinch when it snaps

I want blessings with no pruning, crowns without thorns

Resurrection power, but I hate the cross part

I measure my worth by the likes and the noise

Then wonder why peace always feels unemployed

I say I’m healed, but I still bleed pride

Still bargaining with You like I’m owed my life

I don’t doubt You exist, I doubt Your timing

I doubt silence means You’re still guiding

I read Job but I skip that part

Where faith stays put while the world falls apart

If You’re really God, then strip me bare

Take what I built if You weren’t there

I don’t want comfort, I want what’s real

If You don’t lead me, I don’t want the wheel

Break my plans if they block Your way

Burn my idols, don’t let me stay

I don’t need fame, I need truth in me

God, don’t bless what’s killing me

I want answers in black and white

You keep giving me trust at night

I want maps, You give me steps

I want control, You give me breath

I say I’m Yours, but I hold escape routes

Just in case obedience costs me too much

I say Your will until it hurts

Then I start rewriting Scripture in reverse

If You’re really God, then strip me bare

Take what I built if You weren’t there

I don’t want comfort, I want what’s real

If You don’t lead me, I don’t want the wheel

Break my plans if they block Your way

Burn my idols, don’t let me stay

I don’t need fame, I need truth in me

God, don’t bless what’s killing me

This ain’t a cry for pity, it’s a line in the sand

Either You’re Lord or just words in my hands

I don’t want faith that only works on my terms

I want the kind that stands when the fire burns

So if You’re quiet, stay quiet, I’ll listen

If You’re pruning, cut deep, I’m willing

I don’t want a God I can edit and frame

I want the One who wrecks me and keeps my name